The Road to Redemption
by Neverssaynevers
Summary: Following 'Descent', what will be the aftermath of what transpired? Will Deeks survive? Will his partnership with Kensi? Will the team? Main focus on Densi, with multiple cases, as well. Rated M for possible future content and language. STORY PUT ON THE SHELF FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE!
1. Early One Afternoon

**This is my first story, and it is inspired by many of the stories I have read on this website in the past week. I haven't been able to get enough of your guys' stories, and so I thought it would be cool to share my take on what could happen, and what I think would be interesting to see happen! This story may or not be good, and it may or may not be easy to follow, I just hope that is something that everyone who reads it can enjoy!**

**I would appreciate any and all reviews! Don't be gentle, be genuine!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 1**

It was another long day for the team, Agents Callen and Hanna had just closed up a smaller case concerning an accidental overdose of methamphetamines that a sailor had smuggled into the States on board a Carrier. The sailor in question had actually been thoughtless enough to sell the drugs from his actual home, and so had very little chance of denying the charges when questioned by the two intimidating men. In the mean time, Agent Blye and Detective Deeks were both stuck filling out paperwork the entire day, jealous of the senior agents getting to do some field work and still dealing with much tension between themselves.

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_**KENSI'S POV**_

_Why is it that those two get to do the field work every time a small case comes in, while I'm stuck here listening to Shaggy tap his desk with his pen, drum on it with his hands, hum some already irritating song completely out of tune, or talk, no whine, to himself about how being the Liaison Officer is so difficult because 'both Bates and Hetty want me to themselves, so they both try to remind him that he belongs to them by making him do paperwork. Don't they realize he would be more appreciative if they gave him less paperwork to do?' He's humming again...!_

"DEEKS!" Kensi burst out in frustration.

The detective looked up, and seemed honestly confused by her sudden outburst when he responded, "What?" He then looked back down, "Fern, you need some sugar? You haven't had a snack all day." He did not smirk, he did not chuckle, he did not laugh, and he did not smile. The question was an attempt to get back to the way things used to be, but he was not really into it, and his partner realized this.

Her facial expression softened at this, as she remembered he didn't keep a drawer full of snacks for her anymore. And then she remembered the day Deeks had shocked everyone.

_***** FLASHBACK *****_

_It was his first day back from his leave after being tortured by Sidarov and subsequently rescued by Callen, Kensi, and Michelle. Nate had just cleared him for desk duty for half a day, a few days a week the day prior, but no one on the team had heard, for Deeks had told nobody, Nate could not tell anyone but Hetty without violating his Oath of Ethics, and Hetty knew that Deeks would not want his return to be a big deal. _

_Deeks walked in as the clock struck 8:25, five minutes early. A few people up and about had noticed him walk in, but all had simply frozen out of shock. He walked right into the bullpen without missing a beat, right past Sam, Kensi, and Callen, who were all completely unaware of his presence at first. It was not until he pulled the bottom drawer on the right side of his desk completely out that they looked up, but none of them registered his actions, barely being able to comprehend his mere presence. _

_Callen had sat there, with some control over his thoughts and his facial expression, and quietly, after a moment's pause, said to the man, 'Welcome back, Deeks,' proffering a hand to shake. A hand that was completely overlooked. _

_Sam sat there, stoic and calm on the outside, but his mind spinning on the inside, trying to figure out what to do in response to the presence of the man who had endured unbelievably horrid and cruel tortures, refusing to tell Sidarov that 'Quinn' was actually a Fed, just hours after Sam had blatantly insulted Deeks character, insulted who he was as a man. _

_Kensi had simply sat there her mouth hanging open, shocked to be seeing the face of the man she had not seen in a couple of months, nor heard from in nearly as long. Her mind was spinning out of control. Should see squeal in surprise in delight at seeing the man she could not get off her mind, maybe run to him and give him a hug and tell him how much she's missed him? Should she barely acknowledge his presence as he seemed to desire? Should she just welcome him back, and tell him she's missed him, without showing too much emotion outwardly? _

_None of them realized what exactly Deeks was doing until he unceremoniously dumped the contents of the drawer onto Kensi's desk, revealing two boxes of Twinkies, candy bars, other pastry snacks, and even some healthier protein and breakfast bars. He then turned back, returned to his desk, put the drawer back on the track, opened his bag, and got to work._

_Upstairs, Nate had noticed his presence, and knew from his conversations with the Detective that he felt like everyone at NCIS did not appreciate__ his efforts prior to being captured by Sidarov, despite the heroic things he had done on several occasions. _

_Thus, when he saw the Detective sit back down, he did not yell out, he did not hoot and holler, he let only admiration and respect show on his face, and he began applauding for the young man, who deserved so much more but desired so much less. However, it wasn't long until everyone who had seen him caught on, and everyone who hadn't were drawn out to see what was going on. Pretty soon, the entire Mission was applauding for Detective Deeks, who simply looked up, and gave a slight nod to Nate, whom he knew had begun the applause, before smiling at everyone else, and then quickly got back to work. _

_While this had completely distracted almost everyone from what he had just done moments, Kensi was still sitting there, clearly in shock, staring at the pile of food, the man who had dumped it there, and back again. It was just now beginning to register in her mind what that could mean for their partnership in the long run. _

_Tears began to gather in the corners of her eyes, she fought to maintain control and to not let one fall. The same was true for the Detective, however, his were for the grand show of respect, admiration, and even awe the entire NCIS: OSP had just shown him, for these were people he looked up to every day, and they just told him, without expecting anything at all from him, that the feelings were very much mutual, at least now, even if they might not have been before._

_***** END FLASHBACK *****_

Since his rescue, the partners had not once hung out after work to watch _'America's Next Top Model_', they no longer would bicker seemingly without end, and whenever someone approached him about what he had experienced, he would withdraw into himself for the rest of the day, and then come in the next day, obviously having not gotten any restful sleep the night before. He no longer fawned over Kensi's every move, he no longer catered to her every sugary need and desire, and he no longer tried his very best to make her smile. It was not lost on her that, in the past, the only reason she always had snacks available to her was because Deeks had spoiled her in an attempt to woo her, and now she did not have snacks on hand because for her, it was hard for her to accept that Deeks no longer kept her supplied, he no longer seemed to be wrapped around her finger, and she wouldn't ever admit it out loud, but she sorely missed the attention.

Unbeknownst to both of them, Nate had observed Kensi's outburst, Deeks response, and Kensi's inward response to Deeks'. He made a mental note to talk to Hetty, because he had an idea...perhaps it was once again time to switch up the seating arrangement of the agents.

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**Again, I would appreciate all reviews! Don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	2. At The Same Time

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 2**

_**DEEKS' POV**_

Seeing Kensi's facial expression drop after his comment about her lack of snacking activity that day, Deeks' heart dropped like a rock. However, he no longer could keep fighting her, he couldn't keep up the act. He couldn't pretend like his life was all jolly and good because, in reality, it hurt like hell to be rejected by Kensi Blye. While Sidarov still haunted his nights on occasion, the moments just prior to being captured haunt him every single day, a fact that he has not shared in his talks with Nate.

_***** FLASHBACK *****_

_'Oh, that's interesting. Kind of like me when I was undercover with Monica?' He asked, in response to Kensi's remark defending Michelle, saying that she had kissed Sidarov solely to protect her cover._

_Kensi's reply was quick, and he could hear the tension in her voice, although she meant it to sound like a light-hearted quip, 'Undercover, or under _the _covers?'_

_He decided to try to offer her a way out, in case she did not really want to have this conversation now, while in the back of his mind, he was hoping she might take it, so that they could put off the conversation until they were relaxed on her couch drinking beers some evening, with no threats or cases distracting them, especially not one the size of multiple nuclear bombs. 'And there it is again! The little green-eyed monster makes an appearance!'_

_She didn't want out, however. She wanted his feelings, his emotions, the truth. 'What?! What does...What does that even mean?!' However, because Michelle had left with the Russian twins moments ago, she had to get up from their position to follow the three women, only one of whom was with the good guys. _

_He tried to jump out of the moving train anyways, thinking that maybe that would derail the conversation, even if it dug him a deep hole along the way. 'Nothing, it means nothing...' he replied, getting up to follow Kensi._

_'Like I said, poor communication skills! I never, ever know what the hell you're talking about because you never say what you mean! It's so frustrating! It's like working with a 14-year old!'_

_Deeks couldn't listen to any more of Kensi's furious rant about communication skills, he couldn't take it any longer. If she really wanted him to tell her exactly what he wanted, exactly what was on his mind, then who the hell was he to deny her? It's not exactly like he denies her anything else, anyways, right? Instead of saying something, instead of interrupting her with words of his own, he decided to take a leap, and make sure he left absolutely no room for any misunderstanding, so when she turned around and sat down on her bike, he grabbed her head with both of his hands, turned it towards him, and kissed her. _

_After a few seconds he pulled back, realizing that she was probably freaking out in her head. However, he couldn't resist baiting her by flinging her earlier comments right back at her. 'How's that for communication?' he challenged her._

_Still in shock, Kensi stammered out something about having to stay with Michelle, quickly put her helmet on, and drove away on her motorcycle._

_***** END FLASHBACK *****_

The feeling of rejection, how much it hurt when she never even looked him in the eyes, these were not memories, these were not reflections of what he had felt on that day. These wounds were as fresh today as they had been when it had all happened, because Kensi never apologized for running away, just like she never told him that she felt the same way he did. In fact, she did everything she could to avoid the topic. They still hadn't talked about it, and this was something that he could not handle well. He knew that, at that moment, if anyone looked at him, they would see the hurt, the sadness, the disappointment, and even some anger written plainly across his face. However, he was lucky this time, if one could possibly consider him that, as he regained his composure moments before Callen and Sam walked into the bullpen.

"Who do you guys think Kobe would go to if he was let go by the Lakers?" Callen asked while walking into the room.

"The Clippers," Kensi replied fairly quickly, "he wouldn't be able to leave this city." She was smiling a small, genuine smile, one that you didn't see too often.

Sam flashed a smirk at Callen, obviously that was in agreement with Sam's opinion. "Deeks, what about you?" Sam then asked.

"I don't think that he'd have any trouble leaving this city, what's here that is really all that important or special? He'd probably just quit." Deeks responded after some thought. His face showed no emotion, and he never even looked up from his paperwork to answer the question. All three agents were immediately concerned by this answer, it sounded more like Deeks was ready to leave LA than Kobe.

"You ok Deeks? You seem a little upset..." Callen asked, concern for his team member clearly evident on his face.

"I'm peachy, thanks for asking," his voice dripping with sarcasm. Everyone knew Deeks was baiting them, they knew that if they pressed him to open up now, he would go off on a rant about trusting him, letting him alone, respecting his wishes, and more. So, quietly, the team sat down and got to the piles of paperwork on their desks, letting Deeks withdraw back into himself yet again.

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**I would appreciate all reviews! Don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	3. An Early Morning Talk

_******Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**_

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Chapter 3

_**DEEKS' POV**_

_'Zzzzzzzzz, Zzzzzzzzz...Zzzzzzzzz, Zzzzzzzzz' _

"Who the hell is calling me at..." he looks over at the clock on his nightstand "...1:23 in the morning!" He looks at his phone, and reads 'HER' on his screen, with a picture of Mike from _'Monsters, Inc.' _below it.

_What could she possibly want at this god awful time?_

Regardless of his desire to simply put his phone on silent and go back to sleep, he groggily answers, "This is Marty."

"Deeks, can we talk?" Kensi said, and he could hear the sadness in her voice.

"You do realize that its 1:24 in the _morning_ right now, right?" was his response, and he was rather irritated that she had woken him up from his much needed sleep to _'talk'_, especially when she never wants to talk when its light out.

"Yeah, sorry if I woke you, its just, I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about some of the things that happened today, and everything that didn't happen, and I..."

Deeks cut her off with a sigh, "Look, I get it that you miss me paying for your Twinkie addiction, but I don't think that is a good reason to wake up someone from a peaceful, much needed sleep. Get some sleep, Kensi."

As he went to hang up and get some more rest, he heard her shout, "No wait, its not the Twinkie supply that I missed - well, okay, maybe I do - but that's not what I wanted to talk about...Deeks, are you still there? Hello?"

"Yeah."

"Like I said, its not the Twinkie supply I want to talk about, its more what that meant, what that symbolized."

"What exactly did it symbolize to you, then?" He asked her, hoping that maybe she had finally gotten some insight into what she felt, while also hoping that maybe it would stump her, so that he would have a reason to hang up on her and go back to sleep.

"Our 'thing', thats what it meant to me." Was her reply, after just the slightest hesitation. "It represented our friendship, our partnership, all the bantering we used to do, the good natured jokes and jabs, the small pranks, the trust and confidence in one another."

"What about it?" He still didn't really want to have this conversation at this time, in this way, and while he didn't want to be an ass, he thought maybe it would let him put off the conversation for another time.

"I-, Is it still there?" she asked, and he could hear how much she was struggling to even say this much. "Do you still feel anything? ...Do you still care about me...at all?"

"Do you?" he asked back, rather harshly, letting some of the emotions that have built up since that kiss out into the open at this time. "Because I am having a really hard time believing that someone who does would not be trying to have this conversation over the phone at 1:30 in the morning. If you really cared, you would have come to my place, you would have knocked on my door, and you would have demanded that we talk about this."

After a couple seconds, after what Deeks had said sank in, Kensi replied with a little bite of her own, "Because you definitely would have opened your door and let me in, even if I came at a more reasonable time?"

"Honestly, no, I wouldn't have. But you know what, if you really cared, you just would have kept knocking. You would have fought for this, you would have stood your ground, you wouldn't have run away!" He had raised his voice, and was letting the anger come out over top of everything else. But then, his voice dropped, as the hurt, the dissapointment, and the sadness took over, "You would have fought for us, for me..."

"Are we still talking about what I should have done, well, yesterday, or are we talking about that day, now?" Kensi asked hesitantly, being caught off guard by the sudden turn in the conversation, by his sudden outburst, by his sudden revelation.

"I don't know, both maybe, but now, neither. I'll see you around," and Deeks hung up, turned his phone to silent, and shut his eyes once more, although he doubted he would be getting much more sleep that night.

_**KENSI'S POV**_

_"Are we still talking about what I should have done, well, yesterday, or are we talking about that day, now?" She had asked him._

_His reply left a whole lot to be desired. "I don't know, both maybe, but now, neither. I'll see you around." _'Click'

She lay in her bed, with one of his t-shirts on, a grey one with 'LAPD' across the front in bold black letters. She had stolen while they were undercover as the married couple, Justin and Melissa, and had worn this shirt nearly every night since that day, since she had thought she had lost him, lost her chance to tell him how she felt, and lost her chance to ever have with him the life they both desired. It had long ago lost his scent, but it was still his, so she was able to imagine.

Little did she realize when she saw him, tied to the chair, with that aweful metal contraption on his head, blood covering his entire body, that she really might have lost all of that. She thought she had gotten a second chance, but as each new day came and passed after they had been rescued, a little more hope was drained out of her body, because with each passing day, he pulled further and further away...

She knew she wouldn't get much sleep that night, all she could hear was those four simple words, wondering what they could mean. _"I'll see you around." _Was he leaving NCIS? Was he going back to the LAPD, even though most everyone there openly hated him, and many of the others secretly hated him, all for one reason or another. The sad thing was, many of the reasons the other cops hated him were the same reasons he would hate himself, from time to time. His girlfriend, handler, and friend Jess Traynor being blown up because of his op was the most recent, but most were from before he ever came to NCIS. Things that he had done in previous ops as one of his many aliae to gain the trust of criminals, to get into criminal organizations, et cetera. He had to really commit crimes against innocent civilians, to really destroy innocent live, all 'for the greater good'. But, in reality, for him, it was hard to see the greater good, when all he could see was what he had done. Because there was always another criminal, to take down, he would question whether or not it really mattered if he took down one bad guy, when another would fill his spot the very next day. He had revealed all this to her back when they were living the domestic life as Justin and Melissa, and she wondered if perhaps being tortured by Sidarov had tipped him over the edge, if he had possibly given up on enforcing the law.

_Stop! Don't even think that about Deeks! He's a great man, he would never let the bad in the world go free. He always puts others before himself! But perhaps that is the true danger, that he will stop valuing his life entirely, and that he will become reckless, and just throw his life away on some op 'for the greater good'. But even that is a horrible thing to think! Deeks loves the law and he loves life, maybe he just needs to remember that, maybe thats the problem. He hasn't found a way to enjoy living since he was captured, and so he isn't even trying to live his life, he's rather letting his life live him, if that makes any sense. Why can't Deeks, the old Deeks, come back! I miss that smile, the bright blue eyes, the good-natured verbal sparring with the team, relieving tension through humor, loving to make others happy before he worries about his own happiness...and the late nights drinking beer, watching TV shows or movies, the breakfast he would make for me if one of us fell asleep at the other's place the night before. I miss the flirting, his little innuendoes, his suggestions, the way he would step in front of me if anyone, a suspect, a witness, some random bystander was ever rude, protecting me - although I will never admit to that one out loud - and the small touches, not really anything big or special, but small touches, bumps, et cetera that told me he was still there, he still had my back._

By now, it was nearly 5 am, and both people knew that there was by now no chance they got any more sleep before they had to be up in the morning. They both dreaded what they would have to face that day, in just a few hours, and neither was ready just yet to face each other after the conversation they had had in the wee hours of the morning.

Kensi was scared that Deeks was leaving NCIS, leaving her entirely, and that she had blown any chance she might have still had when she decided to call him to have that conversation, instead of talking to him face-to-face.

Deeks wasn't sure why he was so worried. Afterall, Kensi did just admit a little while before that she had feelings for him, that she wanted to fix things, that she missed their 'thing'. And yet, for some reason, he had a feeling that what this day had in store for him was going to be all sorts of hard, and he didn't know if he was ready for that.

Little did either of them know what had transpired yesterday evening, how their day-to-day work life would change. They had no idea what Nate and Hetty decided to do to the Bullpen, and, in truth, Nate has been second-guessing himself since he finished, silently wondering if the partnerships, most specificially Deeks' and Kensi's, would be able to survive.


	4. The Evening Before, A Private Discussion

_******Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**_

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**Chapter 4**

_***** FLASHBACK *****_

_Unbeknownst to the two, Nate had observed Kensi's outburst, Deeks response, and Kensi's inward response to Deeks'. He made a mental note to talk to Hetty, because he had an idea...perhaps it was once again time to switch up the seating arrangement of the agents._

_***** END FLASHBACK *****_

It's around 7:30 in the evening the previous day, the case had just been closed by Sam and Callen a few hours ago, and Nate has decided it is time to talk to Hetty about his idea.

_**NATE'S POV**_

"Hetty, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment about the team," Nate said quietly as he walked into Hetty's office. Nearly everybody else had left the Mission by this time, and he felt that now would be his best chance of having such a frank discussion with the small, revered woman.

"Sure, Mr. Getz. What about my team?" Was Hetty's simple, yet effective reply.

Nate knew that he would have the full attention of this woman now, and was glad for it, because he truly did fear that, if something was not done soon, the team could implode very quickly. He knew that, if that were to happen, likely several of the team members' lives would fall apart, in the process. "Well, dividing the partners so that they were as far away from each other as possible in the Bullpen helped build over all team unity, because it made it easier talk about work, or even converse amicably, with one of the two from the other pair. This, at the time that you did it, was helpful for the team because the partnerships were very strong, but there was very little bonding, say Agent Blye and Agent Callen, or Agent Hanna and Detective Deeks - well, originally, Agent Vail. There was also the added benefit of putting the probationary agent, Agent Vail, next to the senior agent, Agent Hanna, so that Dom would become more comfortable seeking help, advice, et cetera from the agent in charge of his training. However, I can't help but think that, at this moment, the partnerships are extremely unstable, volatile even. I think it might be more beneficial if you were to switch the desk arrangement up, putting the partners next to one another, giving them a chance to perhaps reconnect, open up once more, and perhaps help everyone on the team begin to recover a little more from the aftermath of Sidarov."

Little was evident on the little woman's face as she thought about this idea. However, in her mind, she couldn't help but once again be impressed with Mr. Getz's thinking. It was not a thought that had occurred to her, but she had to admit, it was a mighty fine thought, indeed. "I very much appreciate your thoughts, Mr. Getz. Enlighten me, where would you have each of the team members sit?" was Hetty's calm response.

Pleased he had been able to come up with a possible solution new to Hetty's mind that she liked, he gathered his thoughts, and them quietly answered her, "Well, I think I would put Agent Blye where Agent Hanna sits now, put Callen where Agent Blye sits, and the put Agent Hanna at G.'s old desk."

Hetty, considering the other possibilities, had to admit that this arrangement had merit. Callen and Kensi connected, and really had a lot in common. Both have, for the longest time, been living the 'lone wolf' lifestyle, but had begun to develop feelings, strong ones on Kensi's part, for another person, and being across from one another, being able to look at each other, they might still be able to keep the bond they had. Furthermore, Sam and Deeks are yet to 'bury the hatchet', so to speak, when it comes to Mr. Hanna's comments to Mr. Deeks about his appearance, and more importantly, his character, and being forced to look at each other whenever they looked up might force them to face the issue sooner rather than later. And, most importantly of all, both partnerships needed reinforcing, both need reparations, both need some new parts, and the only was those would come about is if they began to face what had damaged them in the first place. "Would you need any help with moving their stuff, Mr. Getz?" she asked, still with no readable expressions on her face.

"I don't think so, although it might be hard not to have anything spill out of the files, and it will definitely be difficult to keep everything in order, and to try to make sure their personal space isn't violated by the movements," he replied after some thought. And then, remembering Detective Deeks' actions with his snack drawer on his first day back, he realized that he shouldn't have any problem at all.

Hetty seemed to read his mind, because at that very moment, she suggested to Nate, "I agree, perhaps it would be easier to do like Mr. Deeks did that morning, and just move the drawers between desks."

Shaking his head, his mind boggled by Hetty's ability to tell what he is thinking as if she really could read his mind, Nate simply smiled, and walked away, determined to get this done quickly and without much fuss.

"Unfortunately, I cannot read minds, Mr. Getz, not yet at least..." she called out after him.

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**First off, I have a quick question, as I am extremely new to this site, and I keep seeing A/N before and after chapters in other people's stories, and I was just wondering if someone could clue me in...?**

**On a side note, I was wondering if people might be interested in perhaps sending me a review completing this sentence (it is for an idea I have for later in this story, and I just would like to see what you guys might like to see as well! If I use your idea, you will, without a doubt, be credited):**

_Kensi and Deeks, after a large case concerning Marines who are being killed, then dressed up as jesters and a week of paperwork, are so _ with the new arrangement that they _._

**And, also, I appreciate every review, no matter how**** small (even if it is about one, single grammar mistake, or just telling me you like the story, anything at all means everything!). Again, don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	5. The Morning After

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 5**

It is 7:00 am, the day after Hetty and Nate discussed a change in the team's seating arrangements, after which Nate personally switched the desk drawers and the personal items on top of the desks around, so that Sam's stuff was where Callen used to sit, Callen's stuff where Kensi used to sit, and Kensi's stuff where Sam used to sit (Detective Deeks was not moved). The seating arrangement looks like the following:

[Det. Deeks][ Agt. Blye ]

[Agt. Hanna][Agt. Callen]

Hetty's Office  
\/

_**DEEKS' POV**_

"Good morning, Marty. It's so nice to see you here so early, but I do feel like I should ask,, why are you here just a couple of minutes after 7, when you don't have to be?" Nate asked the Detective, seeing him sitting at his desk, the concern and slight apprehension in Nate's voice was noticeable to Deeks.

"I couldn't sleep, and there wasn't much as far as waves go this morning at the beach, so I figured I'd come in and get a head start on my paperwork, seeing as how I have to do twice as much as the others. I should ask you the same question..." implying that he would like to know why the doctor was in at such an early hour.

"I was up and about, and I thought I'd come in for a bit, and then I'd make the coffee and breakfast run after you guys all got here." Nate replied calmly, having thought up this excuse after much thought, just in case something like this did happen.

"Oh, well thanks! Any idea where you will be going for breakfast?"

"Well, honestly, probably that breakfast food truck everyone liked so much last time, I saw it setting up on the way in this morning. But I think I'll go to that coffee shop over by Ocean View Park this morning, figured everyone would like something nice to start off the day."

"Oh, nice! That stuff was amazing last time! I'll get the same thing I always do." And then, it dawned on him that something must really be off, because Nate was not one to be picky about his coffee, and he never drove very far whenever he went on a run for the team.

"Sounds good! It might be a while though, seeing as how the team doesn't need to be here for a while, still," Nate replied as he resumed walking to where ever it was he was headed before seeing Deeks.

However, Deeks began to get curious as to why the doctor was so out of character this morning. "Wait, why...? Are you expecting trouble today, or a particularly ugly or difficult case, or something?" he called out after Nate. Even though he was trying, and struggling, to maintain a façade of nonchalance, with all the frustration, exhaustion, and other pent-up feelings swirling just beneath the surface, he felt he owed it to Nate to at least offer up a sympathetic ear after all the help the good doctor has given him recently.

"No, but then again, do you really need to know something bad is going to happen later in the day to want to start off the day better than usual?" Nate asked, and at this point, Deeks was struggling to get any sort of read on the man. His time on missions in dangerous zones seems to have made Nate extremely skilled at keeping his own thoughts and emotions hidden. While Deeks had noticed this before during his many sessions with the man, he couldn't help but be amazed by the man's control once more. He wondered if Nate was able to read his emotions at all right then and there, and would have to try to bring that up subtly in the next session.

_Well, I guess it's time to get to work, and play the 'Liaison Officer' for a little while, before I go work out..._

3 LAPD requests for access to NCIS' weapons database and 2 NCIS requests for access to LAPD's later...

_Seriously?! Another request for access to the other's weapons database?! I could fill these out with my eyes closed, at this point, and I'll probably see them when I go to sleep tonight! Then again, perhaps I could stop by one of my old friendly hangouts and meet a young woman working to pay her way through law school, and have her to dance for me for a while. I'll be doing her good, too, of course...she'll make enough money for her to buy 'Ramen Noodles' dinners to last a few weeks, in return. And I'll get the added benefit of seeing some pretty assets in my dreams, instead of requests for each others' weapons databases. Hmmm...I wonder if I could eliminate this problem entirely...The databases are both entirely computerized, so it should be possible, right? What time is it? _He looks at the clock on his computer screen and reads, '0758'. _Eric should be up, I'll swing him a quick text._

**Deeks: **'Hey, r u able 2 combine LAPD's and NCIS' weapons databases n2 1? I'm tired of filling out those request forms...'

**Eric: **'Umm, probably...it would just take a lot of high ups approving it, cant really jus do it out of the blue, ya kno?'

**Deeks: **'makes sense, jus came up w/ the thought while sittin here, and figured id check w/ the resident technology extraordinaire ;P

**Eric: **'lol, thanks...hey, jus curious, u good? normally, u should jus b gettin back from the beach, n work would b the last thing on ur mind'

**Deeks: **'im as good as ive been any other day, lately, ya kno? and i was there earlier, but there wasnt much as far as waves go, especially for how many people were there, so i jus went back home'

**Eric: **'o, ok...well, i gotta finish getting rdy 4 work, ill cya there in a bit?

**Deeks: **'sure, i guess i never realized how much time it could take 2 put on some shorts an a t, lol, jk, cya'

**Eric: **'im dressed alrdy, but i have to grab my bag, and then i kinda still have 2, ya kno, drive, still...? ;P cya'

Deeks laughed at that quietly in the Bullpen, and leaned back in his chair, glancing at the clock. '8:13'.

"Hmm, guess now's a good time to go work out," he said to himself rather quietly, so no one would notice. _And hopefully avoid prying eyes for a little while longer, _he continued in his mind. He got up, grabbed his bag from the floor next to his desk, and headed to the locker room to get changed.

_**CALLEN'S POV**_

Just after he left the room, Callen walked into the Mission, and went right to what he thought was his desk. He grabbed the first file from his 'Inbox', and began to look it over. What he read confused him for a second...then he realized that what he was looking at was Sam's Expense Report from two weeks ago. He got up, and went to place it in Sam's 'Inbox', wondering how someone had gotten their desks mixed up after all this time, it hadn't ever happened before.

"Mr. Callen, why are you putting files in other people's 'Inboxes'?"

He jumped a bit, before turning around and seeing Hetty, the 'little ninja', as Deeks referred to her. "It was in my 'Inbox', but it is Sam's Expense Report, so I was putting it in his 'Inbox'. Did we get some new people working here, who don't know where everyone sits, because this hasn't ever happened before?" he asked the woman with very little hesitation. It helped that he did not believe he had done anything wrong, and so had nothing to hide. Of course, the many years of training and experience he had under his belt helped a tad, as well.

"Are you sure it was in your 'Inbox', Mr. Callen? Perhaps you should check the name plates on the desks. I think you will find that report was right where it was supposed to be." He could hear and see the slightest bit of amusement, but, better hidden, but still there in the slightest bit, was nervousness. He was confused even more because the team didn't have name plates on their desks, they never really had any need for them.

"We don't have name pla..." he began, while he checked Sam's desk for a name plate out of curiosity. Sure enough, it had a simple, wooden triangular prism with a black metal plate on the front, with 'Spec. Agt. K. Blye' etched into it and painted white. "Huh." He checked his desk, and, in white lettering on an identical name plate, was 'Spec. Agt. S. Hanna'. On Kensi's desk was yet another, identical to the first two, with 'Spec. Agt. G. Callen' on it. On Deeks' desk, the name plate was identical, but read 'L.O. Det. M. Deeks'. Callen turned back to where Hetty had stood just moments before, but she was gone.

Sam, however, was standing there, and was just staring at Callen with his brows furrowed, a look of confusion and concern on his face, both directed at his partner, who had just been standing in the middle of the Bullpen turning back and forth, looking extremely perplexed and slightly annoyed, before Callen simply muttered 'Huh.'

"Uhh G., are you ok?" Sam asked hesitantly.

"Hey, yeah, I'm good, I think...look at this," He held up his own name plate expectantly.

"So what, Hetty gave us name plates?" he was extremely confused, and his concern for his friend was growing by the second at this point.

"Yeah, but read it."

"'Spec. Agt. G. Callen'. What abou...wait, you just picked that up from Kensi's desk..." He said, as it began to dawn on him what was going on, but still not comprehending fully what had happened. "Wait, so where am I?" he asked a moment later.

But, Callen was already walking to Hetty's office, and just called back to Sam, "Just find your plate...and then check your drawers, see if someone messed with anything!"

As he entered Hetty's office, Hetty had her back to him, and was pouring herself a cup of tea. "What is it, Mr. Callen?"

"What's with moving us around? The last arrangement worked just fine..." he said, trying to deduce the purpose of the rearranging of the desks.

"Mr. Callen, you and I both know that the previous arrangement used to work, but it things have not been the same the past few months. That is not to say that this new arrangement will suddenly fix everything, but, I do believe, as does Mr. Getz, that this change might spark some much-needed progress towards the re-attainment of team unity, efficiency, effectiveness, and other essential aspects of the team dynamic that has made your team the élite team that it has come to be known as," was her reply. She remained calm, firm, and confident as she said this, allowing her to break through Callen's initial stance of opposition. He couldn't deny that she was right. She continued, "I would appreciate it if you would try to get your team to remain open to this new arrangement. Oh, and by the way, let me assure you that Mr. Getz, who you all trust and who respects all of you, was the one who did all the moving. The only personal belongings that he touched were those on top of any of your desks, other than that, he simply pulled out the drawers from each of your desks, and put them in your new desks. Now, please return to the Bullpen before anyone gets the idea to move everything back. Oh, and Mr. Callen. Ms. Blye is going to be a little late this morning, I gave her an extra couple hours before she needs to be here, today." At this, Callen knew that there was no changing her mind, nor did he even want to, at this point. He couldn't deny her logic, and he knew something needed to change, and soon, so return to the Bullpen he did, and he told Sam the gist of what Hetty said, and asked him to just give it a chance. Besides, what was the worst that could happen, they accidentally go to the wrong desks a few times when they walk into the office over the next few days.

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**I was wondering what people thought about this chapter. I liked the idea of it at first, but now I get the feeling that it might not be all too accurate in terms of the representation of the different characters. This includes the way they talk, the way they act, the concerns they might have, their abilities to control themselves inwardly and outwardly, et cetera. If you guys could tell me what you think I would be extremely grateful!**

**Again, I would greatly appreciate any and all reviews, no matter what they say! And, as always, don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	6. His Last Day on the Job

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 6**

Deeks is still in the gym working out at 9:00, he is at the heavy punching bag, but has no one holding it, so, while he wants to let all his anger out, he has to focus more on control than pure power like he desires.

_**DEEKS' POV**_

"I'm not saying they will suddenly start talking and everything will go back to the way it used to be, Sam. I'm just saying that Deeks and Kensi might actually begin to face the fact that they need to get their shit together before one of them gets killed, because right now, they are both a liability to the team. Oh...hey Deeks, didn't realize you were here yet," Callen said.

Deeks could easily tell Callen was genuinely surprised to see him, and that he was embarrassed about getting caught talking about the Detective like he had, especially within earshot of the man. And for Deeks, it felt like the other shoe had just dropped. Afterall, before being captured by Sidarov, the entire team felt like Deeks was a joke, at least on some level, but he had clearly been optimistic in thinking that he had proved himself to everyone when he refused to give in while being tortured. He felt like, at least, if no one else, the team leader, Callen, would have respected him now. But from everything Callen just said, Deeks felt that Callen never really respected him, he just acted like he did. And now, Deeks had no one, and he felt that it was only a matter of time before he had nothing. Especially since Callen had the power to kick Deeks off the team, and right now, NCIS, the team, that's all Deeks has. "Well, at least I know where I stand, now. Thanks for clearing that up, team leader," Deeks said, putting every ounce of sarcasm he could possibly muster into his voice. With that, Deeks simply walked out of the gym, and got in the shower.

15 minutes later, having cleaned up and gotten dressed for work, Deeks sat down at his desk, and began typing out his resignation letter. He saw no point in trying to stick around, trying to fight through all the bullshit he was dealing with at that time, if even now, even after all he'd gone through, the team still didn't think he was good enough to be a member. The letter appeared to be very professionally and objectively written, but in reality, every word he typed had a second meaning, one that was meant as a jab at one or more people at NCIS. He talked about the _'strong bond I forged with the team through the battles we had fought together'_, he brought up how amazing the tech analysts were, especially in their _'respect for the agents privacy'_, he talked about how nice it was to have a partner that _'never turned her back on me, never hung me out to dry, and always was there for me'_, he mentioned the team leader who was _'always understanding, supportive, and never talked anyone down'_, he wrote about how the higher-ups _'always had my back, always made sure someone was backing me up, and never let someone blame me for a failed op',_ he talked about teammates who _'never doubted me, not even when I was struggling with personal issues'_, and he talked about the _'wonderful experiences I had while on the job, the wonderful life I got to live, and the wonderful people I got to talk to'_. In his resignation letter he thanked the team, Hetty, and all the higher-ups for giving him such a wonderful opportunity and pushing him to make the most of it and he apologized for not meeting their expectations or their standards. The last line stated that his resignation will be official in two weeks time, but that he had the next month off from all duties with the LAPD and NCIS, as he is taking some vacation time, in order for him to _'get his head on straight before going back into the gritty world that is undercover police work'_. He printed this letter off, he grabbed it off the printer tray, and he signed and dated it. He then went to the storage room and grabbed a spare box, and easily fit everything that was actually his personal property that could be removed from the Mission into that single box. Sam and Callen were just walking down the from the locker at this time, and saw him grab a piece of paper before heading towards Hetty's office. When he got there, Hetty was not there, so he simply placed it on her desk, along with his ID that got him into the Mission. He then returned to his desk, through the strap of his bag over his shoulder, picked up his box, and walked out of the Bullpen just as Sam and Callen entered.

"Where are you-" Callen started to ask the young Detective.

Deeks interrupted the team leader, saying, "It was..., well..., it was a new experience, meeting and working with you guys."

With that, Detective Martin Andrew Deeks of the Los Angeles Police Department's Undercover Unit walked out of the Mission and NCIS: OSP with no intention of ever returning to either the building or the agency...

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**I know that this is a big, and possibly rather sudden development and perhaps the main body of this chapter should have been broken down, but I cannot stress enough the importance of much of what is said in this chapter. This chapter, more than any others, really sets the tone for the entire story. I will continue to update this as often as I can, and as this is my only running story (and my only story in general), I feel confident that the story will continue to develop at a strong pace.**

**Again, I appreciate any and all reviews! And, don't forget, don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	7. Discovering the News

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of its characters.**

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**Chapter 7 - Discovering the News**

_**KENSI'S POV**_

A little less than two hours later...

"Hey guys, sorry I'm in so late, I just needed a couple more hours to take care of some personal busin-" Kensi began as she walked into the Bullpen. "Woah, Sam, why are you sitting at Callen's desk and Callen, why are you sitting at my desk?" She was very confused, and slightly annoyed. No body messed with her stuff. Ever.

"We aren't," was all Callen said in response, before pointing to the name plates on his and Sam's desks.

"Hetty, and maybe a little Nate," was all Sam said, when Kensi raised her one of her eyebrows at him, silently seeking an explanation.

That, while very little, was all the explaining she needed. She knew better than to question Hetty's decisions, especially when she had not given Hetty's decision a chance to play itself out, first. So, Kensi sat down at her desk, pulled out her laptop, and began to get to work, first checking her emails. But, something was nagging at the edge of her mind. Something was off, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

And then, it hit her.

She took one look at what was supposed to be her partner's desk, and saw that none of his stuff was on it, and his bag was nowhere to be found. She opened the top desk drawer, where he kept some personal things, like a tennis ball to toss at the wall when he was bored, as well as some of his 'pranking' materials, and saw that the drawer was empty.

"Guys," Kensi began, not even trying to mask the irritation plainly evident in her voice, "Where the hell is Deeks' crap, and where the hell is Deeks?!" Immediately her fears began to all play out in her head. Hetty could have fired him. Vance or Granger could have fired him. All three, plus Bates, could have removed the position of LAPD Liaison Officer to the NCIS: OSP in LA. Granger could have sent him on some crap op without backup. Bates could have sent him on some long-term LAPD undercover op. But, there was one thing that hadn't even occurred to her, one thing that her brain did not imagine, one thing that she was convinced was not possible.

"We don't know. He put a piece of paper on Hetty's desk and walked out with all his stuff in a box this morning," Sam said trying to keep Kensi calm by keeping his voice low and smooth.

"What happened? Why did he do that?" She could tell there was something that Sam was holding back, something he thought would be better if she didn't know. "Callen, what the hell happened?" Callen had never sugar-coated things for her, and he knew better than to keep things from her, especially when she was glaring at him like she was now. It would only turn out worse for him in the end if he kept things from her now.

"Sam and I were talking about this new arrangement on the way into the gym this morning, and it was like 8:15, so I was sure Deeks wasn't here, because he's never even on time, and I kinda said some things I shouldn't have..." He was hoping she'd leave it at that.

"Like what?!" She began to raise her voice, and Callen could tell that pretty soon, she would blow a gasket, so he quickly continued.

"Well, I told Sam maybe this new seating arrangement would be good for everyone, because we all needed to reconnect, repair, et cetera with our partners. And then I said something about how you and Deeks have been pretty much at each others' throats for a while now, and if you didn't fix things soon, it could end up costing someone their life. I kinda said something about it being a liability to the team, too." He was extremely nervous, at this point. He was known for his ability to keep his cool, no matter how much pressure he was under, and now, he was very nearly shaking out of plain fear. He had heard from Deeks that Kensi practices shooting targets in their groin in the Shooting Range, and he couldn't help but begin to imagine Kensi doing that to him, right there in the Bullpen.

He was petrified.

"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU SAY THAT?! HE'S SAVED ALL OUR ASSES AT SOME POINT! HE WITHSTOOD THE MOST HELLISH TORTURE I'VE EVER SEEN TO SAVE SAM'S WIFE THE SAME DAY SAM SAID THAT HE DIDN'T TRUST DEEKS BECAUSE OF HIS CHARACTER! ONE OF THE FIRST CASES HE WORKED WITH US HE WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU ENOUGH IN TWO SEPARATE HOSTAGE SITUATIONS TO OPERATE SO THAT NO ONE EXCEPT THE HOSTAGE TAKER WAS HURT! HE'S KEPT ME FROM LOSING CONTROL MORE TIMES THAN I COULD EVER COUNT! HE PUT HIS CAREER ON THE LINE FOR HETTY EVEN THOUGH HE WASN'T REALLY ONE OF US! THE TWO OF YOU HAVE TREATED HIM LIKE SHIT SINCE THE DAY YOU FIRST MET HIM, AND NOW, I'VE LOST THE ONLY PERSON I'VE BEEN ABLE TO TRUST SINCE JACK!" Everyone in the Mission had heard her yelling, came to see what was happening, and since ran back to wherever it was they were coming from, trying to escape her wrath. She was on a torrent, and anyone in her way was in trouble. And Sam and Callen had nowhere to go...

...And then, it hit her: _She had lost Deeks, her partner, the man whom she loves. Yes, LOVES. He was gone. She ran away from him when he kissed her, and never talked about it with him. She never apologized to him. She never told him she felt the same way. And now, she would never get the chance..._"Oh my god, Deeks is gone...!" She broke down right there in the middle of the Bullpen, she curled up into a ball, and began sobbing.

_**Meanwhile, in Hetty's office...**_

_**HETTY'S POV**_

Humming one of Frank Sinatra's classic tunes, Hetty was pouring herself some tea from Afghanistan that Callen had brought back when she had sent the team out there to a tea house to catch the man who had murdered a member of an élite team of soldiers. She then turned to her desk, and sat down, and it was then that she noticed Mr. Deeks ID badge on her desk, on top of what looked like a letter. Reading it, she could not help but lose control of her emotions, as a couple of tears fell from her eyes, and she dropped her tea-cup, it and the small plate shattering on the floor and the tea spilling all over her very expensive rug. But she did not care about that. All she could think about was Deeks going back to working cases without any backup, without any special knowledge, just what he could figure out while under, alone, for months and months at a time. She knew Mr. Deeks had been in a bad place, and she had thought that the team would have been more careful about what they said around him, but she did not blame the team. She blamed herself. She had ever since Sidarov had taken Mr. Hanna and Mr. Deeks. She should have had at least one unit ready to move ever since the case began, because she knew that, if a nuclear bomb was discovered, she would have to move extremely quickly to recover it, or politics would result in her being blamed any complications that resulted from the case. She shouldn't have left Sam with only one man for backup, nor should she have left Michelle with only one man for backup. And she NEVER should have brought Janvier into this mess.

She began to think back on her entire career; of all the mistakes she had made, the agents she had lost, the criminals and enemies that had gotten away, she could not help but feel that losing Mr. Deeks was her biggest mistake, and would forever be her biggest regret, of all...

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**I would love to hear what you guys think, as well as any tips on how to improve my story telling. I can't help but feel that I could tell everything that I am telling now in a more captivating way. I would even love it if someone wanted to rewrite one of my chapters in a way that they thought told the same story in a more interesting way!**

**As always, I would appreciate any and all reviews! And, of course, don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	8. Apologies (pt 1)

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 8 - Apologies (pt. 1)**

_**HETTY'S POV**_

Upon regaining her composure, which took her a very long time to do, Hetty knew that there would be one person more broken, more hurt, by this development than herself. She knew that her young female agent, Ms. Kensi Blye, would be shattered by Mr. Deeks departure, and decided that she would do her very best to at least fix that woman's relationship with Mr. Deeks, even though she doubted there was any chance he would come back to the team. And so, she walked out of her office and over to the Bullpen, where she saw Mr. Hanna and Mr. Callen sitting on the floor, comforting the young woman, apologizing to her for the parts they both knew they played in driving her partner away from the team and, much more importantly, away from her. She stayed there for a few more moments, touched by the fact that, despite everything they had gone through and the issues that still existed, the team was able to come together at a time like this. Even when broken, even when missing part of itself, her team found a way to continue being a family, to continue to support one another, to continue to love each other. For the second time today, she let her emotions show themselves. This time was different, though. This time, just one tear escaped. This time, it was a good thing - a VERY good thing.

She cleared any evidence of tears from her face quickly, and then continued to wait until one of the three noticed her. It was as if she was afraid to disturb the scene in front of her and the silence all around her.

It surprised her when Ms. Blye was the first to notice her.

_**KENSI'S POV**_

I looked up, and I noticed Hetty standing there, and for the first time, I saw an emotion on her face. She was smiling. It was a very sad smile, and I knew what had caused it, for I felt the same way, myself. My team - my family, really - even though one of us had just left because of our own actions, was there for me. Even though we were still so broken, so damaged, so very at odds with one another since Sidarov, we still loved one another, and we were still able to put aside our very many differences to be there, loving, supporting, and caring for each other at a moment's notice. It made me want to smile a very sad smile, too. But I couldn't. _Deeks was gone. He left. My partner, my best friend, the man I love, was gone. And I never said all the things I really needed to say. And now, I would never get the chance..._

I was brought back to the present and reminded of Hetty's presence when she, very softly, cleared her throat.

The guys still hadn't noticed.

The guys finally realized she was there when she said, so quietly that I could barely hear her, "Ms. Blye, could we please talk for a moment in my office?" I could hear the sorrow in her voice, and it broke my heart, because Hetty never let her emotions show, not in her body language, her actions, or her words. The few times she had, it had been because someone had attacked her team, and every time it was anger. And, of course, there were the couple of times that Deeks had actually gotten Hetty to laugh quietly at his constant antics, jokes, and troublemaking.

I could tell that the guys were both stunned by this show of emotion, too. They clearly had no control over their faces, right then. Their eyes were enormous, and their mouths looked to literally be as big as Deeks' was metaphorically.

I began to laugh, and Hetty chuckled, too. The guys features only looked worse at that. And they looked at each other, Hetty, and then me, trying to figure out what was happening. I laughed a bit more, at that.

"Your faces," I quietly explained, after a moment. They then fought to regain control of their features, and it was obvious they were embarrassed. I quietly got up and walked with Hetty to her office to give them a little reprieve.

"Would you like some tea, Ms. Blye?" Hetty asked, her voice still barely louder than a whisper.

"Not really," was her reply, while shaking her head gently.

"Kensi," Hetty began, and Kensi was already shocked, she had never heard Hetty refer to any agent by their first name, but she let Hetty continue. "I'm so sorry about all of this, I should have apologized to Mr. Deeks a long time ago for not having backup units ready, but I never realized that the result could be this bad. I want you to kn-"

Kensi interrupted Hetty as soon as she realized Hetty blamed herself for Deeks leaving, "Hetty, it's not your fault Deeks left, and it's not your fault that he and Sam were captured and tortured. I don't blame you, and I don't think Deeks blames you, either." She tried to comfort the woman she idolized.

"I wish that were true, Ms. Blye, but in his resignation letter, he made a few comments, and one of them pretty clearly stated that he believed that he and Sam had been hung out to dry, without any sort of backup ready, on the Sidarov case."

"He may have said that, but I think he's just angry, and saying things that he knows are not true. And if he does blame you, if he does believe that, then he is either a very big fool, or he is lying to himself. We did everything the way we normally do things around here on that case, or at least, as close as we possibly could, what with all the added pressure of the additional scrutiny of Washington. You, like always, did everything you could to ensure the success of the mission and the safety of your agents, and I want to thank you for making sure we got Deeks back." Kensi was being entirely honest and thoroughly genuine when she said this, and she just hoped that Hetty could hear and see that.

"May I ask what has driven the two of you apart, since we got him back, Ms. Blye?"

"Are you asking to try to get me to see something I don't see already, or do you really not know?" Kensi asked, suspicious of just how much Hetty knew.

"I really don't know, I can just tell that something happened between you that was not exactly professional," she replied calmly.

"Well...I haven't even talked about it with him yet, not since it happened, but it's the last thing either of us did before he ran down into the compound to help Sam after Sam had been knocked into the pool..." She began. "I know we aren't allowed to date coworkers and all-"

"That is not actually the case, Ms. Blye. The rulebook says nothing about coworkers being involved outside the workplace," Hetty interjected.

"Oh...well...I was going on and on about how he never just said what he meant, and how irritating that was, and he just got up, followed me to my bike after Michelle had left with the Russian girls, and as soon as I sat down on it, he turned my head toward him, leaned over, and kissed me. After a couple of seconds, he pulled back, took a couple of steps back, and just asked, 'How's that for communication?'...but I didn't kiss him back, and I didn't even acknowledge that he kissed me," she continued to tell the story as her voice broke, and she broke down, tears once again falling down her face, if only a little less violently. "I just put my helmet on, turned my back to him, and drove off! He did exactly what I had been pushing him to do, and I ran away from him! I left him! And now he hates me for it!" The tears were once more flowing continuously down her cheeks, as she remembered everything that had happened after that, unable to continue telling her story at this point.

_**HETTY'S POV**_

Hetty got up from her seat, walked around her desk to Kensi's side, and, once more that day, did something that she had never done before. She comforted Kensi, whispering quiet things, assuring that everything would be ok, that the universe would work itself out in the end, that, if she and Mr. Deeks were meant to 'be', then they would 'be'.

As Kensi got more control, Hetty returned to her chair and reread Deeks' resignation letter, and this time, something stood out. She hadn't realized the significance at the time, but now, it was almost as if it was screaming out at her, begging to be noticed, to be given attention.

_His resignation from NCIS should not be made official for another two weeks, at which time he will be off from work with the LAPD for a further two weeks._

Hetty knew that she had, by this point, nearly reached the limit of her ability to manipulate, guide, and influence Mr. Deeks' life, but she couldn't help but feel that Mr. Deeks wanted her to get involved. It was as if he was saying to her, 'You and the team have two weeks to make amends, re-earn my trust, and convince me to return. That is your deadline. Get to work.'

She smiled, read the sentence from Mr. Deeks' letter to Kensi, and asked her if she came to the same conclusion. When Kensi agreed, Hetty gave Kensi a simple directive.

"Go. Tell him how you feel about him and get him back in your personal life. Then, get him to come back here. Go get Mr. Deeks, Ms. Blye." Kensi smiled, with a small amount of hope regained, and then realized that she now had a purpose, a goal to reach, and nothing would be able to stop her from attaining her goal.

As she was walking out of the Mission, she heard Hetty call after her, "Oh, and you have two weeks to do it, Ms. Blye!" And, of course, she had a deadline. She smiled, and started to think about where he partner might be.

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**Author's Note: I will be starting school in a little over a week, and so will not be able to update anywhere near as often as I am now, but until then, if I can keep up this pace of at least a couple of chapters a day, I will be happy! (Yes, I know that is a lot, but this story is just flowing right out of me, and I don't want to stop while I'm on such a roll! ;P)**

**As always, I would appreciate any and all reviews! Remember, don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	9. Apologies (pt 2)

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA or any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 9 - Apologies (pt. 2)**

Meanwhile...

_**DEEKS' POV**_

Having waited outside Kensi's house until she left in the morning, Deeks walked up to her front door with the letter he wrote. In it, there were the usual good-byes, the well-wishes, the wish that he didn't feel the need to leave, and the hope that some day, when things are better, maybe they could run into each other again. But there was more, because this was no ordinary letter for Deeks. Kensi was the woman who caused him to do what he swore he would never do again: have a female partner. Kensi was the woman who never judged him, at least not too harshly, when he did something horribly wrong, when he had to act like a jerk, _when he had to channel his father for an alias. _She NEVER judged him, she always supported him, and, most importantly, she had let him in. She opened herself up to him, she let him see the parts of her that she never thought a man would see again. She had let her barriers, her walls, crumble, for HIM. He knew that, by leaving her, he was probably going to hurt her, and any hurt was more hurt than she deserved, and he felt terrible about that. But the fact remained, he was leaving. He just hoped she didn't feel about him in seven or eight years the way she feels about Jack now. He hopes she can find it in herself to trust other people once more, that she doesn't lose faith in herself or the world, that she doesn't lose sight of who she is, because she is the most amazing woman he has ever met, and she deserves the world. His only regret is that he wasn't the one she had chosen to let try to do just that. _If only..._

He put all of that into this letter. In fact, he very nearly put his heart and soul into this letter. She hadn't let him give her his heart and soul, but he still found a way to try and do just that. He got damn near close. He told her what she meant to him, what he would miss, and how bad he felt for doing this to her. And then he told her the one thing he hadn't ever worked up the nerve to tell her to her face. After writing everything else and signing it, he decided he had to do it, or he would live the rest of his life regretting not doing so. And so, he wrote three more words, those words that he had been saving for his One.

_I love you_

This was what was in this letter, this was what made this letter different...special..._theirs_.

He slid the letter under her door, which took quite a while, but eventually he succeded in doing. And then he left, thinking that NCIS and everyone their was in his past, that he would never see them again.

But the universe hadn't yet sorted itself out, and Hetty had noticed his subconcious plea to fix things and get him to come back. He was not done with them, not yet, anyways...

_**KENSI'S POV**_

_Where would Deeks go if he figured I would try to find him, but he still needed to escape? Eric could proba-...No! I'm doing this myself. This is between Deeks and I, and no one else! Nobody can help me, or it won't mean enough to Deeks, it won't convince him that I mean it. So where to begin looking?_

_It's almost lunch time, and Deeks is too health-concious to not eat lunch, even when he is at 'rock bottom', so he will be getting something to eat...Food truck or restaurant? Restaraunt, probably...Well, there is that deli that he showed me that he said he'd never told anyone else about...but he told me, so he won't be there. There's that small little restaraunt run by the two old women that are both practically in love with Deeks...but I showed him that, so I doubt he'll go there. There's the bakery with some amazing soups and bread that I saw him at one evening while I was on that date with Mike...he never told me about it, but I tried it the next day and it was amazing. He never said anything about seeing me on a date, so I don't think he noticed me. And when I went back there a couple weeks ago, they saw my badge, and asked if I knew a cop that 'looked like Shaggy' whose name was Jason, which means he goes there pretty often, and he doesn't use his real name so his enemies won't think he goes there on a regular basis. Plus, you can see the beach from the indoor seating...He's got to be going there for lunch...time to go...!_

When she got there, she decided to park a couple blocks away and walk there, figuring he'd be less likely to notice her...she also grabbed a hoody, and pulled the hood up, and put on some cheap sunglasses, figuring that could only help her chances of sneaking up to him unnoticed.

As she walked down the street she noticed a car that she didn't recognize, but the surfboard on top of it was unmistakeably his...she had seen it the few times he'd given her surfing lessons, and it was so exactly him that she had doubled over laughing the first time she saw it. She let a small smile grace her features at that instant, her confidance growing by the second. And then, sure enough, she saw his shaggy mop top walking into the bakery...he was also wearing a hoody, but he had let his hood down just outside the store. She grinned stupidly at her good fortune, figuring she just thought of what she would first say when she sat down next to him...

A couple minutes later, she entered the bakery herself, and spotted him on the far side of the restaraunt. He was in a booth, but he was sitting on the edge of the seat, as if he was expecting to have to get up and leave any minute. Carefully choosing her approach, she slowly made her way towards him, coming up from behind...she quickly pushed him towards the window and sat down next to him before he had a chance to react, but she did it in a way that was neither rough, nor unfriendly...

"Eric...?" was all he said, and although he made it sound like a question, it was more of a statement.

"Nope." A simple answer to his simple question.

"Nell." This time, the confidence was almost palpable. He was sure it was her.

"Nope."

"Really? One of the other techies? I don't even deserve the best?" She could tell he wasn't very sure about her using one of the other people in Ops, and while he meant the last part as a joke, with everything that happened, she could tell he really did mean it, too.

"Yes. Nope. Didn't use anyone, you deserved me doing it on my own," was her reply, figuring that if she didn't start giving him more than one word answers, he would leave pretty soon. But, she could tell he doubted her, his one raised eyebrow told her he was incredulous, and asked her to explain how she had found him, if not for the help of Eric, Nell, or any of the other techies.

She gave in..."I saw you here a few months back one evening while I was out on a date with some guy named Mike, but you didn't notice me, and I decided not to come say 'hi'. I tried this place the next day, and it was amazing! But...I didn't come back again until a couple weeks ago, when one of the girls behind the counter noticed my badge, and asked me if I knew 'a cop named Jason that looks like Shaggy'. I figured that was you, using the name from the alias that you used with the _'Blood and Guts Warriors'_, you know our first case together?" He nodded, and couldn't help it when his mouth turned up a tiny bit at the corners.

Kensi continued, "She said you'd been here a couple times a week for the past few months. So, I knew you liked it, but you had never mentioned the place to me before, nor had you given me a hard time about my date, so I knew you didn't notice me, and you had been planning on keeping this place to yourself. Plus, you can see the ocean from the window. I figured it was my best bet to find you." She almost rushed through he story, fearing he would get up any moment, and she wouldn't be able to find him again.

"Pretty good detective work...for a Fed," was all he said, deciding to lighten the mood. He knew that, while he had already said everything he had to say in the letter, she deserved a chance to say everything she needed to say, too. He figured the mix of a compliment and an insult, something he did all the time with her, would tell her he wasn't going to just walk away from her before she said what she had on her mind.

It seemed to work, her shoulders relaxed, and she leaned back in the booth. Then, she pulled out a Twinkie from the pocket of her hoodie, opened it, and took a bite. He couldn't help but smile for a second at that...he would really miss her Twinkies and rocky road ice cream addictions.

"Kensi, why are you here?"

"Look, Deeks, those two assholes told me what they had said this morning, and I'm with you, they- well, they are _assholes_. And you know what, I don't blame you for quitting."

"You don't?" he asked. He had figured the first thing she would do is beg him to come back. Instead, she told him she was okay with him quitting. He now had a feeling this conversation was not going to go anything like he had initially expected.

"No. Now, I am not going to be anywhere near as comfortable doing anything with someone else as my partner. No one will ever be able to replace you, and I do kinda hope that, eventually, you decide you want to be my partner again, because we were the best, and I wouldn't want anyone else watching my back, nor anyone else watching yours." He could tell she was struggling. This was a lot of serious, heart-to-heart talking at one time for Kensi.

"My back, or my backside?" He smirked, figuring she would appreciate a little humour to loosen some of the tension.

"Deeks..." She nudged him with an elbow and gave him a gentle glare. "Anyways, whi-"

"Wait, so you don't deny it?!" He knew he was pushing his luck, but he had to ask.

"Maybe, maybe not." Now it was her turn to smirk, knowing she had turned the tables on him as his mouth opened and shut, but nothing came out. It was a beautiful guppy impression, really..."Anyways, while I feel best when we are partners, I know that you can't just forget what the guys said, both today and in the past. So, for now, I can understand you not wanting to be my partner...for now," she figured starting to hint at missing him and wanting him might not be a bad idea. "I mean, I doubt any other partner would be willing to take on the burdens of the responsibility and the cost of supplying my Twinkie addiction!" This got both of them to smile, and even got a soft chuckle out of Deeks. She was pleasantly surprised by this; she had expected him to either be stoic, emotionless, and calm, or angry, upset, and frustrated. Right now, he was being neither.

"It was a pretty big burden, too! I bet it cost me more than I ever imagined, buying all those Twinkies! And when I was out, you could get really grumpy...now that I think of it, those were usually the times you practiced shooting the targets in the groin in the Shooting Range...were you-" she cut off his question...

"Yes, I was imagining you were the target, and yes, most of the time it was because you ran out of Twinkies." She smiled at him, as his surprise and discomfort were all over his body language, and definitely his face. "So, back to what I was saying...For now, I'm not going to try and convince you to come back, but I can't just let you walk out of my life right now, at least, not before I say everything I need to say, so, if you could be so kind as to shut up, listen closely, and not cause any distractions, I would appreciate it..." She couldn't help but push his buttons like this, and actually smiled a little while he protested light about her manners. "I know, sorry. But seriously, please, just listen, ok?" The change in her voice shocked him, and he knew that it was time to be completely serious and to just let her talk.

"Ok, I'm all ears," was all he said, and he meant it.

"For years, we had this 'thing' as everyone called it, and we both denied it existed, but at some point, I began to realize it really was there, and at first, it freaked me out, because no one had gotten that close to me since Jack. But, I think you realized it around the same time I did, because we suddenly started hanging out more after work, you would, I think intentionally, forget a t-shirt at my house, from time to time, and you began to flirt a little more than before. I played my part, as well...I took and kept those shirts, I invited you over or just showed up at your place just as much as you did, and I kicked up the flirting a couple notches, as well. But, I think with what we were doing, I was able to convince myself that our 'thing' was just the fact that we were really close friends...for me, you were my best friend-"

"And you mine," he interjected quietly.

She continued as if he hadn't said a word, but her smile told him she heard him, "- but I let myself believe people were seeing our friendship and misinterpretting it. I was still scared to admit that there could be anything more with someone I worked with. But then I began to get annoyed, because we reached the point where we were as close as 'best friends' could possibly get, without it becoming more, but I had gotten used to us gradually becoming closer and closer. That was when I admitted I had feelings for you to myself, although I was still scared out of my mind by the idea of telling you how I felt. What really bugged me was that, as far as I could tell, you were happy with what we had, and you didn't really want any more with me, and that hurt, because you had slipped past all my barriers and walls, and I couldn't imagine us staying just friends. That was when I started getting mad at you, telling you to say something that you really meant. And when you didn't, I was really pissed. But I don't really know who I was pissed at...you, for not saying anything, or me, for letting my guard down and letting you in, for wanting more with you than just a friendship and partnership." Kensi had to take a few deep breaths at this point while she gathered her courage. She then realized that she had been tearing little pieces off a napkin while she was talking, and didn't even realize it. She put her hands in her lap then, bothered by how easily they gave away her discormfort.

"It's okay Kensi, you deserve a chance to say everything you need to say to me. I'm not going anywhere right now, so take your time." He tried to put her at ease, but when he said 'right now', he saw her visibly tense, and he feared he may have caused her to shut back down.

When she began to talk again, she didn't get any less tense. He figured she would just go into a little less detail, then, but in truth, it seemed like she only got more honest when she continued.

"Up on that hill, I should never have made that comment about you being 'undercover or under _the _covers' with Monica. I know how much you hate it when you hurt innocent people, mentally or physically, and I know you felt bad about using her, just to send her away when the case was closed. I guess I was still hurting that, some of those times we had hung out, watcing TV, drinking beer, and such late into the night, you had been coming from being with her, and yet you acted like nothing was different. It shouldn't have, because I know we weren't dating, but I couldn't help but feel like you had cheated on me, and I was really jealous of her, too. Plus, she was such a _bitch_, and it just hurt that you could be with her, even if you didn't mean it, but you wouldn't even ask me out on a single date or tell me how you really felt about me. And then you said something about some 'little green-eyed monster'...?"

He nodded, confirming she was remembering what he had said correctly. "It's from Shakespeare," was all he said.

"Wait, you quoted Shakespeare to me, on the fly, when we were both upset, and dealing with the added stress of the very, very precarious undercover work that was a part of the Sidarov case?" She was astonished, she couldn't figure out how that fit into what she knew about him.

All he did in response was give her one of those soft, sad, small smiles that he had from time to time, and nod, "Yeah, I guess I did."

"Wow...uhh...anyways, and I went off on some tangent about you never saying what you mean, and how it was so frustrating...really, we shouldn't have been having that conversation right then, now that I think about it...it was pretty stupid of us, to be honest. But still, and then, you kissed me, both to shut me up and to tell me something you really meant. At least, that's the story I'm telling myself, because I really needed to be shut up, at that point, and that was a really, really nice way of doing it. But I was so shocked by the kiss, because it felt so _real_, like I could feel how much that kiss actually meant to you...I kinda wish you had let it last a little longer, though, so I could have kissed you back...Uhh, yeah, I could tell how much that kiss meant, how much you were saying with that one little kiss, an-, and it-, it scared the crap out of me. I hadn't had a kiss like that in so long, I honestly didn't think I would ever have one like that again. And to have it come from you, it was honestly too much...I wanted it, oh so badly, but I guess I didn't realize how not ready for that I was until it happened. I don't know why I didn't even acknolwedge the kiss, or say anything, but I've thought about it, and here is what I can say for sure, so far: There was some fear, I was scared of what that kiss meant for us as partners and friends, and I was scared by the feelings I was having. There was some shock, I never, ever would have thought that you, my goofy, always relaxed partner, felt like that for me...I guess you could kinda say I was 'starstruck'? There was also the shock that, to tell me something you really meant, you decided to kiss me...I thought you would just tell me that, I don't know, you wanted to be more than just friends and partners, or maybe that you wanted to take me out on a real date, or that you found me to be the most beautiful woman in the world, or that you liked my smile and my eyes, or that you liked my ass and boobs..." She smirked and winked at him, trying to lighten the mood, a bit, but he could tell she wasn't done, so all he did was smile back and chuckle softly.

"When I heard you had been captured, I felt my entire world just collapse around me. I mean, if I'm being completely honest, you were my entire life, at that point. We hung out 5-6 nights a week outside of work, usually for the entire night, and most times we both crashed at whoever's house we were at, and even some time feel asleep together, either spooning, or you just lying on your back, me pretty much on top of you, and then we were together at work 5-6 days a week, for the entire day each day, and we would hang out at least one of the two days every weekend...so when I thought I'd lost you, I felt like I had list everything. Hetty finally got through to me, telling me that they had actually found where you and Sam had been taken, and I was there, and I was determined to be the first one to get to you, and Sidarov had better damn well not have killed you, because he was going to have a hard time doing a lot of things, otherwise. And then I think you know the rest..."

She smiled weakly at this point, a few tears had fallen from her eyes, and Deeks could tell she was extremely exhausted by everything that had happened that day, and even the night before. Honestly, he felt just as exhausted as she looked, too. Neither of them had really slept well at all last night, which didn't help things, either.

"Kensi, thank you. I know it took a lot out of you to talk about all that, but it meant a lot to me. But I don't know...-" He began, trying to figure out how to respond to everything she had just revealed.

"_Plleeeaase, _you don't have to come back to work, but _please_ don't leave my life!" she pleaded with him, begging him, and he could see the pure panic in her eyes at the thought of him leaving her life completely.

"Kensi, the last thing I want to do is leave you, your life. You have to believe me when I say that...but if I hadn't resigned-"

"Quit. You didn't resign, you quit! You gave up, on me!"

"Kensi! If I hadn't left NCIS, would we have had this conversation right now?" He decided approaching the subject gently wasn't the way to go, right then.

"_YES! _I decided before I ever started getting ready for work this morning, with the couple extra hours I had to think about it thanks to Hetty, that I was going to ask you to come with me when I made a lunch run, and I wasn't going to give you a choice. I was going to drive to the beach, and we were going to have this talk, no matter how long it took, no matter how long it meant we would keep everyone waiting for their lunch!" It felt to Deeks like she was yelling at him, while not raising her voice. There was a mix of determination and desparation in her voice, and definitely in her eyes. He knew she was telling the truth.

"Okay, I believe you. But I can't come back to work right away, I need some time to myself. And we...we are a ways behind where we were befor Sidarov...we have to fix our friendship before we can start dating."

"No."

"Kensi," he began.

"No! We can do it like it would happen if we met at a bar, and you asked me on a date there and then. We can wait several dates before we even kiss, and several more before we make out, and several more before we reach third base, and several more before we go all the way. That will allow our friendship to grow before we get involved completely, and, because of our line of work, it will mean that we will be able to make sure we don't wait to long before something bad happens again!"

"Kensi, we aren't going to be able to date for a couple months, actually..."

"Why not? I'm seriously going on a vacation. Like, on a plain, flying there, getting away from all- well...now, all my other problems, because this is no longer a problem...but still. We will be able to talk on the phone, and we will be able to text, and probably email, if there is a computer there with internet access...so maybe not email, but we won't see each other for a couple months."

"Where are you going?" She asked, afraid that he was just lying to her because he didn't want to admit he was never coming back.

"A remote area in Australia with some incredible waves...perfect for surfing, and not exactly some place the LAPD is likely to go to and hunt me down and try to bring me back for some crappy op." He knew she was hurt by this, but at the same time, she was relieved because he was telling her that, at least for a couple months, he wouldn't be going undercover alone and without any sort of real backup.

"When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. And before you ask, I'll be back in exactly two months, to the day," he told her, anticipating her next question.

"You better be, or I'll kick your ass!" It was an empty threat, and they both knew that. In fact, it was more of a plea, begging him not to stay away any longer than that.

"Kensi, I will come back." He did not make any grand statements, use any dramatic flourishes, or anything else that would have told her he was not entirely sure he meant it. He meant it. Period. He was coming back.

"I'll pick you up from the airport, and I'll make you dinner for our first date." She was still begging him without admitting it.

"Nope. You will meet me here, at this bakery, in this booth, at 7:30 pm, the day I get back. We will have an amazing dinner, my treat, we will go to the dessert truck that you love so much - yes, I know his spot is a couple miles away, but I will ask him before I leave to come over here that day, and, because the guy owes me for something I can't tell you about, he will do it. We will then walk along the beach for a while, together, and then we will get in my car-"

"Uh uh...no way, I'm driving." When she looked up after saying this, she could see his was trying, and failing miserably, to hide his smile and keep from laughing. He had baited her, pushed her buttons, purposely trying to get her to say that, and knowing she would. She punched him in the shoulder, before she began laughing herself. After they died down, she rested her head in her hand, with her elbow on the table, gazing at him with a gentle, genuine smile on her face. "What else?"

"Huh?" He replied, slightly confused.

"The date."

"Oh, right...Uhh, yeah, dinner here at 7:30, your favorite desert truck (which will be right over there), walk along the beach, umm, scratch all that...dinner here at 6:30, your favorite desert truck (which will be right over there), walk along the beach while the sun sets, go see a movie at the outdoor theatre a couple of miles down the beach that way, walk back up the beach this way, lay out and look at the stars while lying on the beach when we get back here, oh, and make sure you wear a swimsuit...if it feels good out, we could go for a swim before, and maybe after, the movie, too," he said, while ticking each thing off on a finger as if he had already thought of all of this ahead of time.

"Deeks, the people who go out into the water after it's dark aren't swimming..." she said, as if warning him against behaving badly...

As if he hadn't heard her at all, he tells Kensi, "Oh, a couple of more things. One, don't tell the guys, or Hetty, or Nell, or your mom, or any one else about this...if you do, they will all push you to try and get me to come back to NCIS, and I don't want that to come between us on a personal level. Two, make sure you leave work at a good time, so you don't feel rushed to get ready for the date, I want the date to go perfectly, and if you had to rush, if you come straight from work, or if you are stressed, I'm afraid it won't."

"Deeks! No funny business, we aren't going into the water after dark to have sex!" She was still bothered by the fact that he hadn't acknowledged her earlier comment. "And it won't go perfect if you're worried, either!"

"Please Kensi, just make sure you leave work on time so you can go home, relax, and get ready without rushing, stressing, or worrying..." he asked, genuine concern showing on her face.

"Fine, but only if you promise not to worry about the date, either," she said, giving in, but still finding a way to not give up complete control to Deeks.

"K, deal, I'll cya then! Oh, shoot, Kensi, I'm gonna be back exactly two months from _tomorrow_, not two months from today...sorry, I got mixed up..." he said, slightly embarrassed, "Remember, two months from _tomorrow!_'

She waved him off, confused as to how he had gotten her out of the booth, gotten up himself, and gotten out the door before she realized he was leaving. She quickly ran after him, "Deeks! Can we hang out this evening, after I get off from work?! We haven't hung out in a long time, and we aren't gonna see each other for two whole months!" She was really worried about how much she would miss him, but things during lunch had been like they were before Sidarov, before the jealousy, anger, and frustration, things had been like they were when they were the best of friends, and still growing closer, and she wanted more of that before he left.

"Umm, yeah, sure, my place, 5:30! You're in charge of dinner, whatever take-out you want, I'll be in charge of beer!" He said as he crossed the busy street, dodging cars, to get to his own. "Don't be late, or I'm erasing your _'Top Models'_!"

_He hadn't erased the recordings of 'America's Next Top Model' that she had recorded before everything fell apart...! What did that mean...? _

She couldn't wait to find out, and began to put a devious plan together to milk the night for all that she could get out of it...smiling, she returned to her car.

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**I know it seems like I fixed everything between Kensi and Deeks really quickly, but I didn't and there are still some twists and turns along the way, I just hope you guys stay on long enough for me to get to them. Let me know what you think, and I'm always open to possible ideas for the storyline, if you have any!**

**I would appreciate any and all reviews, as always! And, remember, don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	10. Promises (pt 1)

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA nor do I own any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 10 - Promises (pt. 1)**

After work, Kensi went home, and grabbed her pajamas (and not the long pants and a guys old t-shirt she used to wear whenever she and Deeks hung out together in the past, but the short shorts and the tiny tank top she wore when she was going to be home alone), changed into the 'Dress the Population Deliah Shirt' she bought online a few days ago and a pair of denim short shorts, put on some flip flops, grabbed her bag, and hopped in her car. It was 4:45, and she figured that, by the time she got their favorite Thai food and the drove to his house, she would only be a little early to his place, but she really didn't care, because she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he left to go to Australia.

_**Meanwhile...**_

Knowing the look on Kensi's face meant she would be early getting to his place, so he took Monty out for a walk at 5, with the knowledge that he would not be home until after 5:30. Suddenly, he realized her first thought would be that he had been lying to her when he said he'd like to hang out with her, he left her a note.

_**20 minutes later...**_

Walking up to Marty's front door, I see a yellow sticky note on the door.

_Walking your boy.  
-Marty_

Smiling, I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to take Monty for walks with Deeks, holding hands, or maybe even arms wrapped aroung each other.

"I didn't know that it was that good of a note...?" She suddenly heard a familiar voiice say behind her.

She turned around and saw his infuriating, socky smirk on his face, and it was genuine. He really was happy right then. She glared back, and punched his shoulder...

"Shut up," but she couldn't keep herself from smiling, as well. "Hey, Monty! How have you been?!" she exclaimed while crouching down to give Monty some attention before turning back to Deeks. His smile really was contagious, and while this really annoyed her, she also felt a sudden warmth in the pit of her stomach. "I was just thinking about how only you would walk a dog even if it meant you would make someone you had plans with wait."

"Hey, Monty is worth it, even if it makes someone mad."

"Animals get mad, people-"

"-get angry," he finished for her. A smug grin spreading across his face, he had baited her, and she fell for it. She did her best to glare at him, but once again, she couldn't help but smile when she looked at him.

After a few seconds, he pointed at his door. "May I?"

She had been standing right in front of his door, preventing him from unlocking it so they could go inside. Hoping he didn't notice her blushing, she stepped out of his way, quietly mumbling something along the lines of "sorry".

He unlocked the door, took Monty off his leash, and let Kensi slide by him, through the doorway before stepping all the way in and shutting the door.

"Beer?" he asked her, walking into the kitchen while she sat down on the couch.

"Sure, thanks."

"So what are we having for dinner?" He called from the kitchen, looking over his shoulder back at her.

"Thai."

"Same place as always?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course." She smiled at him, "Thanks," she said, as he handed her a beer.

Reaching into the bag, she took out the containers of food and handed him his.

He accepted it, but, instead of sitting down on the couch like normal, he walked over to the recliner he had, and sat down in it. It was angled to face the couch, so that he couldn't be distracted by anything on the TV while they ate and talked.

She knew she had a frown on her face, and knew he could tell she was disappointed he wasn't sitting with her on the couch, but decided to let it go for now. Suddenly, something occurred to her. "Wait, you originally said you were going to be gone for a month, but then towards the end of out conversation today at lunch, you said two months...what does that mean?"

_Shoot, she noticed...what can I say so she doesn't figure out what I'm really doing?_

"I don't know why I said one month at first. It's two months long, I guess I just got mixed up for some reason...I don't know." He was hesitant, not sure if she would buy that, but figured that, as long as he texted her on a regular basis, she wouldn't think the worst.

"Hah, ok...I guess," was all she said. He could tell she was worried, and had already begun to imagine the worst.

"Kensi, you said everything you needed to say earlier, I thought I'd take this chance to say everything I needed to say."

"Oh, I saw this letter on my floor by my door and saw it was from you." She said, pulling the letter out of her back pocket.

"Uh, oh...yeah, I wrote that and put it there before lunch..." he began, "umm, but really, it says everything I want to say..." He suddenly felt really awkward, fearing that she had taken the letter the wrong way, but he knew that everything in the letter was true.

Seeing how uncomfortable he looked, she decided to let him off the hook, "Deeks, I read it, and I'm not gonna lie, some of it hurt, but I had the feeling you had put it there before we talked, because you mentioned us never talking a couple of times. Still, when I read it, I could tell you and I felt the same way, and we were both struggling with the implications. You don't need to say anything, this more than counts, in my mind."

"You sure?" he asked, still not sure what to think, still worried he had screwed up.

"Yes, I'm sure. You said it, and I heard it, just in a slightly different way than how I said my things and you heard them." She was trying to keep her voice sounding soothing, but she was still worried he was leaving forever, and she knew he could hear that in her voice.

Suddenly, Deeks got up, walked over to the couch, and sat down next to her, handing her the TV remote. "So, what are we watching tonight?" he asked, with a small smile on his face.

She smiled back, "Well, apparently you didn't delete my _'Top Model' _recordings, so we could watch that. Ooorrr, we could watch this!" Her voice took on a very playful tone out of nowhere when she suddenly reached into the cushions next to her and pullde out a DVD in a clear plastic case.

He got very nervous. "What is _this_, exactly?"

She smiled, and he could tell she had some very devious ideas rolling through her mind at that moment. "You pick."

He couldn't resist the idea of a surprise, and so took the blank DVD from her, got up, and put it in the DVD Player. "I really hope I don't regret this," he mumbled, sitting back down on the couch, before he suddenly jumped back up, "I have a feeling I'm gonna need another beer or three, you want a refill?"

"Grab me two." She said, knowing what he was about to say in return.

"Kensi, you know that three beers means you can't drive tonight. I know we are fixing things, and we took a huge step today, but are you sure we are ready for that?" She could hear the fear, the trepidation, in his voice, and saw the concern in his eyes when she looked at him.

"Yeah, I don't think it will really be a big deal." She said, a confident smile on her face, and her voice matched it. And then, a thought occurred to her. "Unless you don't want me to stay. If you want me to leave tonight, then only bring me one."

He realized what she was thinking, but didn't know how to respond without giving away what he hoped she would do or making her feel unwelcome. So, instead, he just walked back to the fridge, grabbed the last four beers from the six pack, and returned to the couch. He set twoo down in front of her, and kept the other two near himself, on the coffee table as his answer.

As it turns out, the DVD Kensi had brought wasn't at all what he expected. It was a slide show of pictures of Deeks and Kensi in the Mission. "Where did you get all these Kensi?" Deeks managed to ask between spurts of laughter after a couple minutes.

"I've been going through footage from the security cameras at the Mission and the boathouse for the past couple months. I started with the first time you and I worked together, and I've been working my way up, these pictures are from the first case we worked together to 4 months ago. Of course, the footage was first screened by Hetty, and anything that revealed anything about any of our cases was not given to me, but still, there is plenty of good stuff."

"And how long have you been waiting to show this to me?" Deeks asked, worried that the way he'd been treating her had prevented them from sharing this slide show.

"I finished it a couple day ago, actually. I was gonna show you it on the anniversary of our partnership, but, since you're going away for so long, I figured now would be the best time to show you, since the anniversary is in three weeks." She could tell that he really, _really_ liked the slide show. His eyes were gleaming, he couldn't stop smiling, and he didn't look away from the screen even once.

Suddenly, though, he felt her watching him, and he looked at her. His eyes said everything that he was thinking. He was thanking her for this, he was thanking her for having his back, he was thanking her for all the good times, and he was thanking her for supporting him in the bad times.

"Deeks, I want to ask you something, and it's kinda related to this slide show." She began, not quite sure how to continue, but she just knew she had to.

"Is that why you decided to show me this now?" She could hear some anger, some disappointment, and some sadness in his voice, but, he wasn't accusing her. At least, that's what she thought until she looked up and saw his eyes. Everything his voice had was there, but his stare was an accussing one. "You showed me this, to remind me of all the good things that we have had in our partnership, to try and help you convince me not to leave NCIS, didn't you?" The emotions were rising.

She look him in the eyes anymore, feeling extremely guilty. "I'm sorry..." she began, not even trying to hide her guilt, sadness, and pain from him, "I-, I jus-, I can't imagine a future without you as my partner!" She suddenly said, her voice still so soft that he could barely hear her. "Please, _please_, don't leave me...I need you to watch my back, I only trust you!"

Everything Deeks had been feeling was suddenly overcome with a massive wave of guilt. He knew her words had a second meaning. He knew that, when she said those things, she was also begging, pleading with him not to leave her like her father had, like Jack had. But he couldn't tell her the truth yet, he knew that it would be better if he waited until the time came. "Kensi, you say you trust me, right?"

She nodded her head, still looking down at her lap.

She was curled up at one end of the couch, her knees up by her chest, her feet just next to her, with her back against leaning half against the back of the couch and half against the arm of it. In contrast, Deeks was sitting straight up, his back to the armrest, one arm over the back of the couch, one leg bent, all of it against the seat cushion, with his foot against the knee of his other leg, which was bent, with the foot on the floor.

Suddenly, he leaned forward, so he was supporting himself with the arm that was on the back of the couch (still there), the knee that was on the couch (still there), and the foot that was on the floor (still there). He lifted her head with his other hand cradling her head, their faces now just a foot from each other's. "I'm not leaving you. I will always be here for you. I will be back in two months and some number of hours, and until then, we can talk on the phone and we can text. I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do. We can't keep going on like we have been at work, and nothings going to change if we keep doing the same things. Okay?"

She just nodded in response as a tear fell down her cheek. He swept it away with his thumb, and he knew then that he had to do one better. He had to do something more than just give her his word. He noticed Monty rolling over out of the corner of his eye, and suddenly had an idea, and let a small smile grace his features.

When Kensi saw this, her brows furrowed, silently asking him to explain the sudden, unexpected, seemingly out of place curve of his lips.

Without either of them moving an inch, he said to her, quietly, as if he wanted to make sure she understood that what he was saying was meant for her, and that he meant it, "Kensi, I'm gonna need someone to take care of Monty while I'm gone. I already talked to my neighbor, and he agreed to do it. But...I can tell that you still think I'm not coming back. So I figure, my dog is a pretty good insurance policy, guaranteeing my return."

She suddenly matched his smile, thinking that was a pretty damn fine idea. Monty would be the physical symbol of his unspoken promise to return to her. Plus, he would be able to comfort Kensi, whenever she got lonely. They both knew how much this gesture meant to her, and to him, too. They knew then that everything would be alright.

And then, something more unexpected than everything else that had happened that night occurred. Deeks leaned forward those last dozen inches, and kissed her, right on the lips.

After a few seconds of stunned inaction, Kensi kissed him back. She wrapped one of her arms around his neck, raking her fingers through his golden locks. At nearly the same exact time, they both reached out and set their beers down on the coffee table. Kensi opened her legs and stretched them out, allowing them to get closer. She felt his tongue slide across her lips, a couple times, begging for access, begging for a more sensual kiss. She gave it without a second thought, and let out a quiet moan as their toungues dueled for dominance in a way that befitted the two partners perfectly.

Deeks pulled Kensi's body down with his extra hand so she was lying on her back on the couch, his other hand still tangled in her brown curls, keeping their lips pressed together. Kensi had both her arms wrapped around Deeks neck at this point, her fingers raking though his golden waves. She wrapped her legs around Deeks waist, crossing her ankles to hold them in place and to keep Deeks body pressed against her.

Both of Deeks hands we now on her torso, one on the small of her back, holding her close, the other caressing her hip. The hand on her hip slid up her body, going under her skin. Deeks felt electricity shooting throughout his body as he felt the taut muscles of her abdomen with his thumb while his hand was wrapped around her side, right above the hip bone.

Suddenly, she rocked her hips against his, and he had to pull back, moaning "Sshiitt, Keennnss..."

She couldn't help but smirk, thrilled at the effect her body had on him.

He, however did not resume the kiss, but began to work his way down her jaw with kisses and licks. When he got to her ear, he nibbled on the lobe, before he began searching just below her ear for he pulse point.

He knew he had found it when she moaned, very loudly, "Ooh mmyy goddd, Deeeeekkssss...!"

He smirked, before sucking on her pulse point a couple more times. He then continued to pepper her with kisses, small nibbles, and licks, before he got a _very _michievious idea. He found a fleshy section on the side of her neck, and gave her one hell of a hicky.

"Deeekks!" When she said his name this time, it was not so much sensual as it was an admonishment, because it was in a spot that she would not be able to hide while at work the next day.

She rocked her hips against his a couple more times, trying to regain some sort of control over Deeks, but the effect this had on him was not any greater than the effect it had on her. He was now quite stiff, and feeling his rock hard shaft against her core, even through two layers of denim and two different pairs of underwear, one of each on each of them, led to her succumbing to him entirely. He could, at that point, do what_ever_ he wanted to her, and she would not, _could not_, protest or fight him in the slightest.

One of her hands slid up under the front of his shirt, caressing the strong muscles on his chest and stomach, while the other slid up the back. She decided to get him out of his shirt, and started pulling on the him, he gave in, and let it happen.

While she still had her arms up in the air from taking his shirt off of him, he pulled up on the hem of her shirt, and before she knew it, they were both shirtless.

She decided to take things a step further, and slid her hand into his pants, and began to stroke him, and he couldn't fight her anymore, either. But, he knew a way to regain some control... he sat up, let her unbuckle his belt, unbutton and unzip his jeans, and take them and his boxer briefs off of him, before resuming her stroking...

He then pulled her onto his lap, he began to lay kisses and licks all over her chest, slowly getting closer and closer to the cups of her bra. She was now on her knees straddling him, when he reached around behind her, and unclasped her bra...she gasped at the sudden realease she felt on her chest, and pulled the straps down over her shoulders and removed her bra, not once looking, as they were once again wrestling with their toungues, fighting for control.

He then, pulled away, and laid back slowly, not once looking away from her eyes, and his hands not once straying from her hips. He had been trying to still her rocking hips, because they were driving him insane. Once laid all the way back against the back of the couch, he let his eyes drop until he saw her breasts, completely revealed in all their glory.

The look on his face was made Kensi flush a little, but she did not try to hide a thing. She loved the feeling she got when he looked at her that way.

Suddenly, she was picked up, turned around and set back down on his lap. She was now sitting on his lap, her back against his chest, and he slid both his hands up to caress her breasts while he kissed and nibbles her collarbone, neck, ear, and jaw.

She then felt his hands slide down, and unbutton and unzip her shorts, she lifted her legs into the air and brought her knees to her chest, not once removing her hands from behind herself, one wrapped around Deeks neck, the other still striking his shaft.

Shorts removed, her caressed her core from the outside of her panties, and he couldn't help himself when he felt how drenched her panties were, how wet she was, _for him_. He found the composure to make a smart comment, "I always knew you wanted me, Fern. You didn't fool me."

He smirked, and she turned to look him in the eyes, "Shut up." Just to make sure he listened to her, she pulled him into another kiss, and without a thought, they both opened their mouths, and resumed their tongue dueling.

He was once again caressing and squeezing one of her breasts, while his other hand finally slid into her panties. With that hand, he gently massaged her clit with his thumb, while he slid two fingers inside of her, and began to finger fuck her.

"Deeeeeekksss! Yyesssss! Ohh, yeessss!" She could not control her body's response as she began to rock her hips, her ass grinding against his rock hard shaft while her she virtually rid his fingers.

He then took control, and pulled her hips tight against his, prevent her from moving them, while he found her sensitive spot with her fingers inside of her, and massaged it. He suddenly realized she had removed her panties at some point, and realized that they had actually been ripped off. _Damn, that's hot! _ He quickly thought to himself, without ever stopping his handiwork.

Within moments, her back was arched, and she was screaming in pleasure. He heard everything from "DEEEEEKKKSSS!" and "YEESSSSSS!" to "HOLY SHIITTT!" and "FUCK MEE!".

He picked up the speed and the pressure of his ministrations, and seconds later, she was squirting all over his living room.

She collapsed against him, trying to catch her breath, when something registered in her mind. She could feel his _still_ rock hard shaft in between her butt cheeks, and she began to slide up and down.

_What is she do-...Oh gooddd! That feels amazing! _He thought to himself, before moaning what she could only assume was a garbled version of her name out loud.

Immensely pleased with herself, she got up, turned around, and dropped to her knees in front of the couch She slid up his body, until his cock was between her breasts, and then slowly slid up and down a few times, stroking him with her breasts. She dropped back down then, and began to stroke his shaft with her hands while she had her mouth over the tip of his dick, licking it, lapping up his precum, and smiling up at him.

He leaned back, giving in entirely to her work, letting himself enjoy what she was doing to him.

She decided to kick it up a notch after she began to get consistent moans of pleasure from him, not liking the fact that she got nothing more. She suddenly took him entirely in her mouth, going all the way until her lips were around the base of the cock. She was lucky she did not have a gag reflex, as he was definitely quite a bit bigger than average. She began to suck his cock, all the while whipping her tongue around it, only releasing him to get a breath of air before getting back to work.

In no time at all, his abs were spasming, and he couldn't keep quiet. "Shiittt Kensiii! Oh my god!"

"Yes?" she replied, her voice dripping will all the innocence in the world. She made sure she was not touching any part of his body with any part of her own.

"DON'T STOP!" he yelled out, both his hands raking through her hair, pulling her back down to his dick.

Her lips formed into a smirk against the tip of his cock, precum spreading over them.

"_PLEEASSEE! KEEEP GOINGGG!" _he pleaded with her, and so she opened her mouth wide, and he pulled her down all the way onto him, before pulling her head back up. He continued this several times, as she just wagged her toungue around his dick, and he began to jerk his hips forward in back, as he pulled her head down and up.

She then began to cradle his balls, and took back complete control over the job of pleasuring him, but his hands did not leave her head.

Just moments later, he was moaning a garbled mess of her name, obsceneties, and meaningless sounds. And then, she heard him moan, "Yeess! Yess! I'm cumming!" She took the cum entirely in her mouth, and swallowed it.

He pulled her up, onto his lap, and kissed her, telling her softly, "You. You are unbelievable. You are stunning. You. Are. Perfect."

She smiled, collapsing ontop of him, her head against his chest, and they relaxed there for what felt like hours.

"Kensi," he said after a moment, "we should probably shower, and then go to bed. You have to go to work tomorrow morning."

She sat up a bit, looked at him, and gave him the best glare she could muster given the circumstances. "Yeah, and thanks to you, I'm gonna get a lot of crap for this hicky."

He smirked, and she couldn't hold it any longer, she began to smile, too. "Jerk," she said, in the least convincing tone imaginable.

He slid his hands from her back to her ass and squeezed.

She looked at him with an unimpressed look on her face. "Deeks," she said, in a warning tone.

"Sorry, I've kept remembering what it felt like when I smacked your ass in that bar with Sonny, and I've kept wondering how it would feel like to grab and squeeze it. I couldn't help but imagine it being amazing, because your ass felt perfect when I smacked it." He said all of this, without hesitation, embarassment, or nervousness in his voice or on his face.

"And...?" she asked, wanting to know what he thought of her ass now.

"Still perfect," he said, giving her his judgement.

"Good answer," she said with that stunning smile on her face.

He suddenly stood up, picking her up, without moving his hands from her ass, and said, "Let's go shower before we go to sleep."

She nodded her head, wrapped her legs around his waist, interlocking her ankles, wrapped her arms around his neck, gave him a peck on the lips, and then whispered quietly into his ear, "Let's."

After they showered, where there was only a small amount of caressing, fondling, grinding, kissing, licking, biting, squeezing, and other assorted sensual acts, they got out, dried off, and then Kensi suddenly remembered...her bag was in her car. She told Deeks this, and instead of one of them putting on some clothes to go get it, or them just sleeping together naked, or her just wearing one of Deeks' shirts to sleep, they did something Deeks has always wanted to do.

He picked her up again, she once again wrapped her limbs around him, she grabbed her keys off the endtable, and they went outside, completely naked, completely oblivious to anyone that might be watching. They opened her trunk, grabbed her bag, shut it, locked the car, and Deeks carried her back into the house. Once the door was closed, he carried her into the bathroom, set her down, and told her that she could have the right side, before shutting the door and getting a pair of boxers to sleep in that night.

She came out, in a very skimpy, but very, very hot pair of black short shorts and a skin-tight plain white, low-cut tank top that was riding halfway up her stomach she climbed into bed, and he couldnt help but look at her breasts. He could see her nipples through her shirt, and they were rock hard, again.

She turned her back to him, before quietly stating a simple fact; "I'm cold."

But it was more than a statement, it was an invitation, one he greedily and quickly accepted, wrapping an arm around around her midsection, he pulled her back into his chest, and quietly asked, "Better?"

She couldn't help but mile an enormous smile at several things. 1. What had happened in the living room, the shower, and then in front of his house. 2. The look on his face when he looked up and down her entire body after she came out of the bathroom and climbed into bed. 3. She was now spooning with her extremely hot partner, and there was very little clothing on either of them. 4. His hand on her taut stomach, with fingers slipping under the hem of her shirt and under the waistband of her shorts, gently caressing her bare skin.

"Mmhmm," was her simple reply, not wanting to say anything to ruin the moment.

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**I would appreciate any and all reviews! Please help me improve my storytelling! Don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	11. The Morning After, Goodbyes

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA nor do I own any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 11 - The Morning After, Goodbyes**

In the middle of the night (around 2 am), after he was sure Kensi was fast and deeply asleep, Deeks got up out of bed to fix something he had done earlier that day. It wasn't that he regretted resigning from NCIS, that was something that he had to do at the time. But, how he resigned, what he said in his resignation letter, those were things that he sorely wished he could take back now. Plus, there was something else he had to tell her.

So, he got his laptop from his bag, booted it up, and fired off an email to one Henriette Lange.

He knew he didn't want Kensi to know he did this, but at the same time, he did. He wanted to apologize to Kensi for saying the things he said in his resignation, because they were wrong, and he just hoped she didn't read it. At the same time, he wanted her to know that he said those things, because, if nothing else, she deserved to know exactly who he is. But, there were other parts of the email that he knew he couldn't share with her, not yet, exactly. If she found out about them, it would almost definitely end whatever they just started before anything really got to happen.

Or, at least, that's what he believed.

And, while he hated himself for doing what he believed was taking advantage of her lack of insight into what he was going to do, he couldn't resist the woman who has haunted his dreams, his fantasies, and his reality for several years. He couldn't say 'No' to her, not anymore.

And so, he kept her in the dark, he hid the truth from her, and after sending the email, he crept back to bed with a bottle of water from the fridge, just in case she had woken and he needed an excuse for not being there.

She was still asleep, and he was grateful. He set the water bottle on his nightstand, slid under the covers, right up against Kensi's back, fit himself perfectly flush against her, wrapped his arms around her, and fell asleep.

_**6 and 1/2 hours later...**_

Slowly, Kensi began to wake up, having had the best night's sleep in months, to the warm feeling of the sun shining on her face. She felt muscular arms around her, saw the sun-kissed skin of the back of a man's hand, _her partner's hand_, his hand on her stomach, fingers under the hem of her shirt and the waistband of her shorts, and she slowly replayed everything that happened last night in her head.

The wonderful release her partner had given her with just hid two hands.

The look on his face as she returned the favor, using her mouth as well.

Going outside, her limbs wrapped tightly around his body, both of them completely naked, to get her go bag.

Going to bed in a perfect bliss, with only one thing wrong in her world, which she plannedto fix: _he's technically not her partner, anymore_.

She remembered all of it, and she loved all of it

The best part was, she was aroused again, remembering all those things. She was dripping wet from the memories of last night, and decided to give her body want it wanted.

Slowly, carefully, she slid her hand down into her shorts, where there were no panties to get in her way. Her other hand slid up, under her shirt, to fondle one of her breasts. She could not believe how _wet_ she was, no guy had ever done this to her, and she loved it!

To the memories of last night, she began to tease herself. She began to work her own core, as well has her breasts, and pleasure herself to her partner, something she had never done before.

In the past, she had made sure to never think of him while doing it, because she was scared of crossing the boundaries of professionalism. However, now, _technically_, there were none of those boundaries, becuase he had quit NCIS.

So, she imagined those hands fondling, squeezing, caressing her ass and breasts. She imagined him bending her over and spanking her ass repeatedly. She imagined his fingers inside of her, bringing her immense pleasure, because Deeks prided himself on making sure whomever he shared his bed with reached a climax at least once, preferrably multiple times.

And luckly for her, none of these were pure imagination. His hands had caressed, fondled, and squeezed her ass and breasts. He has smacked her ass before, if only not when she was completely naked or bent over, but still. And he _definitely_ had slid his fingers inside of her and brought her to a climax, remembering her juices squirting out all over his living room, covering the coffee table, the carpet, and even getting a decent amount on his entertainment center (luckily, the electonics were all behind glass panes, and her squirt didn't quite reach the TV).

She couldn't help it when she started to move her hips around, essentially grinding against him, and she suddently felt his rock hard shaft slip between her thighs, and she decided a little fun never hurt anyone. She reached down, grabbed his cock, and slid it into the leg of her shorts, so that the tip was against her core. She slowly, methodicaly, rocked her hips back and forth, using his cock to caress her own core.

All the sudden, the tip of his cock slipped inside of her, and she let out a soft, moan, unable to repress the sudders the sudden stretching of her tight cunt caused.

One of her hands was still fondling and squeezing her own breast, and the other was now entangled in her hair, as she began to feel a pool of heat settling in the pit of her stomach. So, when she felt another hand being to fondle the exposed breast, and yet another slide under the waistband of her shorts and begin to caress and tease her clit, she was shocked.

The surprise only lasted for a second or two, before she started up once again the movement of her hips. She turned her head to face his, and they locked in a kiss. This kiss was a lot like their kisses last night, but it contained something more.

_So did what they were doing_, she thought to herself, remembering that his cock actually is inside her, even if it is only the tip.

She feels his hands leave their spots, and then feels them tug on the hem of her shirt. Getting the message, she reaches her hands up, and he pulls her shirt off of her.

They get back to work on her, and she continues to feel a warmth gathering inside of her.

That is when she decides that last night, even with the added bonus of this, will not be enough to feed her imagination, to satisfy her desires, for two whole months. And so, she pulls away, and while she suddenly regrets it, missing the warmth of his embrace, she knows that what's to come is a whole lot better. She gets up on her knees right there in front of him, pushes her shorts down and then bends over, facing away from him, and seductively asks, "Help a girl out? I would be happy to return the favor, plus a little tip for great customer service...," as she looks back at him, biting her bottom lip.

He just smirks slightly, before getting to his knees behind her, pulling her shorts off the rest of the way. Without letting her reposition herself, he guides her to a better position so that he can lay down on his stomach behind her.

She feels both his hands on her ass, spreading her cheeks, when she suddenly feels his tongue dancing over her core. The electricity she feels shoot throughout her entire body does not go away, as he continues to work, and in a matter of just seconds, he brings her to her second orgasm with him in less than twelve hours.

If she has her way, that number is going to climb rapidly, and they both know that. He then gets up behind her, spanks her several times, while she just moans every time she feels his strong hand striking her ass. She won't admit it often, but she finds herself liking him taking control and dominating her. And she definitely likes the feel of his hand on her ass.

After a few more strikes, he lays back on the bed. She then hears him say, in a voice so seductive that no other man will ever be able to match it, "Now come over here and give me that tip you promised."

She just looks back over her shoulder, with a playful grin on her face, before backing up so that her core is right above his mouth, while her head and hands are right above his dick. She pulls his boxers off of him, and then goes to work with her mouth and hands, remembering what did and didn't work on him from the night before.

He too cums in a very short amount of time. But not before she felt his fingers slip inside of her, and he brings her to her second orgasm of the day, this one right on top of his face, just moments after she made him cum.

She then turned around, and he started to up, thinking they were done. She placed both her hands on his chest while straddling his hips, and pushed him back onto the bed. "Where do you think you are going? I have to go two months without even seeing you. Your fingers inside of me and your tongue dancing over me will not be enough to last me that long, not even with everything else your hands have done," she said with a michievious glint in her eyes, retaking control of the entire situation. "There are two things we still _have_ to do."

He knew what she meant up until that last statement. "Two?" he asked, not sure how to take what she said, at that point.

She bent over so that her face was just inches from his. "Yes. Two." She did not explain any further, and began rocking her hips back and forth, and withing second, he was hard again.

He saw her hips rise up, felt them rise up, but he didn't realize what she was doing until he suddenly felt her slide down on top of him, extremely slowly. He had thought she would want a condom.

"Ohhh, shiiittttt!" She suddenly moaned extremely loudly. "Oh godddd, Deeeekksss!" She knew how big he was from the night before, but that didn't change the fact that it literally took her breath away as she felt him stretching her while she slowly dropped all the way down onto him.

"Wait, Kens. Wha-" He began, and that was as far as he got before she began to kiss him.

Neither had to ask for it, they both wanted it, and pretty soon, their tongues were dueling yet again. When they finally had to pull back for air, she could still see the hesitation and concern in his eyes.

"Relax, I'm on the pill, and I've got no diseases. Do you?" She asked pointedly, raising an eyebrow.

"Uhh, no..." God! She could read him so easily!

"Then we're fine. Now give me something to remember you by while you're in Australia!"

"Yes, ma'am!" He saluted her, and gave her that infuriating, infatuating, cocky smirk that had gotten him into trouble so many times before. But this time, it only got her rocking her hips around his cock faster.

And then, without know how it happened, she was on her back and he was on top of her, still inside of her, and her began to go to work. He had always bragged about how great he was in bed, but she had thought that it was just his ego talking. In an instant she knew better, and not too long after, she reached her third orgasm of the morning. He still had only released once.

But he was giving up control that easily. So she began to thrust her hips up as he thrust his down, she forced his head down to her breasts, where he began to tongue, kiss, and suck her nipples, and then she got him onto his back, where she began to ride him harder and faster than she had ever ridden any guy before.

She could tell he was putty in her hands, at that point, and before long, they were both approaching there climax. She picked up the pace, not even sure that she could, and they released their juices at the same time.

"Kens...I just cumed inside you...I'm sorry," he said quietly, out of no where. She could hear the deep concern in his voice, and saw it reflected in his eyes.

She smiled at him, and she meant that smile more than any other smile she had ever flashed at a man in the same bed as her or any smile she's ever flashed at Deeks. "I'm not," was all she said in reply, and she could tell he got what she was saying.

This wasn't something about her being scared he was leaving or being afraid he was leaving. This wasn't sex. This, this was what it meant to make love with someone. And they both know it, and neither one of them was running away.

She hadn't moved an inch, she was still lying on top of him and he was still inside of her, even if he was rock hard any more. They were both drenched in sweat, and were both panting, trying to catch their breath. Suddenly, she heard her cell phone ringing in the living room.

"You should get that, it's probably work," he said.

Not wanting to leave him, she replied, "the bring me to my phone."

He shook his head and smiled at her, before sitting up and scooting over to the side of the bed. He gave her a moment to wrap her arms and legs around himbefore he stood up, with one arm around her waist, the other on her ass, and he walked into the living room.

Just before she answered her phone, she whispered playfully into his ear, "You just can't keep your hands off my ass, can you?"

"Hey Callen, what's up?" She said into the phone.

"Umm, oh shit, yeah, I'm good. I guess I slept through my alarm," she began to explain to Callen.

Deeks sat down at that point on the couch, her not moving an inch, staying right where she was in his arms, on his lap. Just then she felt Deeks hand squeeze her ass as he freshened up the hicky he had given her the night before, making sure it was a nice, deep, dark color, and that there would be no way for her to hide it. She reached down and grabbed his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze. The color drained from his face rather quickly as he instantly began to behave himself. Her action had left no room for any sort of misinterpretation of her silent threat. She gave him her best smile at that point, not caring to hide or even mask the thrill she felt at having such control over him, nor how much she enjoyed the fear he felt at her threat. She hung up her phone a few seconds later, having told Callen she'd be at work as soon as possible.

"Sorry," he said, but his cocky smirk was right back on his face, and she knew that he wasn't really, but he was still nervous, because she was still gently squeezing his balls. "Kensi..."

"Yeah?" the concern in his voice getting her full attention right away.

"You're still squeezing my balls..." he didn't crack any jokes, he didn't make any inappropriate comments...he was genuinely unsettled. And then, suddenly, his words registered in her mind.

"Oh, shoot! Sorry, I didn't realize!" She exclaimed, telling the truth, as she let go of his balls.

"It's fine," he said, chuckling softly. "Why don't you go shower while I make breakfast. You do have clothes to wear to work, right?"

"Yeaupp."

"Ok, good. Now get up."

She just kissed him, and began to push herself up and down, straddling his lap, his cock still halfway stiff inside of her. As soon as he was rock hard, and he moaned inside her mouth, not wanting to break the kiss, she got up off of him, and walked away. "Breakfast better be ready when I get out!" She called back seductively.

He had to sit there for a moment to regain his composure before he made her pancakes, cut up some strawberries, and set both of them, along with some whipped cream and orange juice, on the breakfast bar.

He then ran back to his bedroom, snuck into the bathroom because she hadn't closed the door, and took all of the towels, before returning to his bedroom. When he heard the shower turn off, he walked just outside the bedroom door, and shut it until there was just the slightest crack to peep through.

When she came out of the bathroom, he suddenly walked into the bedroom, and acted like he didn't notice she was naked at first. "Kens, breakfast is rea-, well, I guess breakfast can wait," he said, and then he picked her up, carried her over to the wall, and pressed her up against it with his body.

"Deeks, I have to get ready for work," she gasped raggedly, trying to maintain her composure. And then his mouth moved from her neck and shoulder to her breasts, and one of his hands began to caress the inside of her thighs, working its way up, inching closer and closer to her core.

Suddenly, she felt two of his fingers slip inside of her as his thumb caressed his clit as he had done the night before, his mouth over one of her breasts, his hand caressing and squeezing the other.

At that point she gave in, and lifted her legs up to spread them for him, giving him better access. And right then, he pulled away completely, setting her back down on the floor, avoiding all bodily contact.

It took her a moment to realize what had happened, and then she heard him say, with a smug grin on his face, "Two can play at that game, Princess." He just walked to the other side of the bed, pulled two towels out of the closet, tossing one to her and keeping one for himself, before he shut and locked the bathroom door.

She just laughed at that point. _Damn, he could do whatever he wanted to me, so long as I got _him...

She got dressed and walked into the kitchen, before greedily gulfing down the breakfast he had made. She got full well before she got anywhere close to eating all of what he had made.

She suddenly felt someone watching her, and turned around to see him leaning against the doorframe with several bags on the floor behind him.

He just gave her a small smile, and she returned it, and then she realized what was happening. It was time to say goodbye. He was leaving before she would be able to leave work. Once she left his house to go to work, they would not see each other again for a long time.

She had no idea what to say, and neither did he. The smiles dropped from their faces at the same time, and she got up and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, as his arms went around her waist. They stood there like that for a while, neither wanting to break the hold. Neither ready to leave the other. The past 20 or so hours had been the best either of them had experienced in a long time.

He broke the silence. "I am going to miss you way too much, Fern."

She laughed, while a couple tears fell from her eyes. He felt them on his neck, and he pulled back so he could look her in the eyes. He was crying, too.

"Deeks...I love you, too." That was all she could say, her voice broke, and then she broke, too. He picked her up bridal style and walked over to the couch, leaning back on it, holding her. Both of them were a mess, but both of them were also happier than they were in a long time.

"I know you do, Kensi. And I swear to you, I will be back for that mangy little mutt." She knew the second meaning to those words, the hidden meaning, _that he isn't Jack_. "And Kens..." he waited for her to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"You better be there when I come to pick him up, and you better be as healthy, as safe, as strong, as proud, as brave, and as confident as you are now."

"But it's ok if I get fat? Because without you, all I'm gonna have to comfort me is Monty and Twinkies." They both laughed at this.

"Here," he gave her a key to his house. "If you miss me, you can just come here. You can steal my shirts, my jackets, my sweatshirts, anything. You can sleep in my bed, lay on my couch, use my TV. Heck, you can live here, if you'd like. All I ask is that, when I come back, you are there to greet me. Not at the airport, mind you, because I haven't bought a ticket for the return trip yet, but there."

"I will be. But why can't I pick you up at the airport?" She asked, confused by what he was saying.

"Because, neither of us wants to break down in public, and if this is how bad we are when saying goodbye, then us reuniting could be very, _very_ embarrassing."

"What, are you ashamed of me?" She still wasn't sure how to take what he was saying.

"_Hell. No. _I could never be ashamed of you. I just want to keep the softer side of Kensi Blye to myself for a little while longer. The world just gets to see Badass Blye, Kickass Kensi, _my_ Fern. For now, that's all I want to share, they can see the rest later."

She decides that is a pretty damn good reason for her to do what he wants, so she says, "I'll take that day off then, so I can be here to greet you when you come home."

"Nope, unless you are planning on telling them _everything_ that we did, they will be suspicious, I bet. Please, I don't want me coming back to be weird because we treat the day like some big event, like Haley's Comet."

"Fine, but then you better be in my house, on my couch, when I get hom from work."

"Your place, or here?" He asked.

At first she thought he was making a joke, but one look in his eyes told him he had meant it. She suddenly realized that she would most likely be living here by that time. "Honestly, I don't know. But you're right, I'll probably come here out of habit, by then. So when I get here after work, you better be on this couch, exactly like you are now, so I can come and sit exactly like I am now, so we can do this," and she kissed him, telling him everything she was thinking, everything she was feeling, and he did the same.

They broke away afterwards, and he said simply, "Deal. Now get that perfect ass of yours to work, so I can see you in two months, and do this." He smacks her ass as she gets up, before pulling her in for another kiss.

It's the kind of kiss that only happens a couple times in one's life, and you are lucky if even that is the case. It was a tacit promise that he would be back and that she would be waiting for him, and they would pick things up right where they had left them when he returned.

With that, she walked out the front door, her keys and phone in her hand. He realized she had left her go bag, and knew that she would probably be living in his house for the next two months. He felt terrible for lying to her, for not telling her what was really going on, but he knew it was probably for the best. Because, truthfully, he wasn't sure what to really think about it yet himself, and he was the one who would be doing it. He just hoped that when she found out the truth, she wouldn't be upset that he had lied to her, let her believe she was losing him, because that was what convinced her that she should tell him her true feelings. He could still hear her saying those words that night when his plane was landing on the landing strip, and he knew that those words would haunt him until he was done...

_'I love you, too, Deeks.'_

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**I hope you guys like this chapter, I've been really, really excited to write it, because it really sets up the rest of the story. It's probably pretty predictable what happens next, but I will do my best to surprise all of you!**

**As always, I would appreciate any and all reviews! And, dont forget, don't be gentle; be genuine!**


	12. Sharing the News

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA nor any of it's characters.**

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**Chapter 12 - Sharing the News**

Kensi had just pulled into the parking area for the Mission, after having spent the entire drive trying to figure out how to act around the team, and, perhaps more importantly, what to tell them about her search for Deeks. She knew they knew that's why she ran out yesterday, and they, more specifically, Sam, would push her to tell them, him, what happened no matter what.

Unlike Deeks, Sam had no ability to understand when to press, and when to not. She knew Sam would drive her up a wall, unless she found a way to make it clear to them that she did not want to talk about it from the very start.

After thinking about it for a while, she had an idea. While it wasn't exactly a perfect plan, she knew it was the best she could come up with at the time.

She sent Callen, Hetty, and Nate each a quick text, asking them to meet her by her car in 5 minutes, without letting anyone, including the techies, Sam, or anyone else, know what was going on or where they were going.

_7 minutes later..._

Ok, thank you for coming out here, I trust you didn't tell anyone, looking specifically at Callen.

"I told him I was gonna go for a quick coffee run, he won't come looking," he replied, understanding why.

Hetty then added, "I sent Nell and Eric to the files room, and asked them to find me several files that were not in the system at all. I turned off the security cameras with us in view, as well. Nothing said here will be heard by anyone else."

Kensi nodded. "I hate leaving them out, but Sam won't let it go, he will demand to know more, and I will end up shooting him. Eric just will get on my nerves, because he will keep trying to get Nell to guess with him, and then push her to try to find out more. And Nell, well, Nell will just keep asking me, won't let it go, and, worse than Sam, she will show up on my doorstep night after night, saying that we should have a girls' night, before trying to get me drunk so I will spill."

They nodded, understanding completely, and while they didn't like it either, they were able to accept that perhaps it was for the best.

"Ok, so I found Deeks yesterday, and we, well, mostly I, talked, because he knew that there was a lot I needed to say if he really was just going to disappear on me, and he didn't want to be like Jack. So he listened, and said things when they needed to be said. After I got out what I needed to share, we started talking, and it was a lot like old times. We joked around, bickered, he made inappropriate comments, I punched or elbowed him, so on and so forth. Anyways, I realized that there was no way I could save our partnership in a single hour and half long talk, so I decided instead to try to save our friendship. I asked him if he wanted to hang out last night. He agreed. And that is what really happened at lunch, not the 'nothing' I told you about yesterday." She stood there for a second, looking around at the three people standing in front of her, waiting for them to say or do something in response to what she had shared so far.

Nate was the first to speak up. "I'm impressed, I must admit it, Kensi. You were...well...I don't know how else to say this, so please don't take it the wrong way, but...you were desperate, frantic to save your partnership with Marty, but you were able to realize that you wouldn't be able to do that, and so you instead came to the conscious decision to instead try to save your friendship, instead. That takes a lot of courage, bravery, and strength, and I do think it is a big step towards you opening up and letting someone inside in a way that you have avoided for many years." His voice was calm, and she could hear the honesty in his voice. He really was impressed by her actions, and she might even go so far as to say she saw admiration in his eyes. Kensi had to fight not to let herself smile and to keep her eyes calm, so that she did not give away the fact that she had more than taken a step _towards_ letting someone in, she had _actually _done it.

"Ms. Blye, you did something that you have avoided for a long time, and I want to thank you for that. You found it inside yourself to run towards someone who meant so much to you, instead of running away." Hetty was calm, but Kensi swore it looked like Hetty had just been relieved of a huge weight that had been on her shoulders.

"Why are you thanking me, Hetty? He didn't come back to the team?" Kensi asked, truly surprised and concerned.

"Because, Ms. Blye, my biggest regret is that I never let down my guard enough to let someone in, to let someone love me, and to love them back. I do not know if I could handle it if the same happens to you. That being said, I have always wondered when you would give Mr. Deeks a chance, even if to only be a friend." And once more, Kensi saw something in Hetty she had never seen before, self-doubt.

"Thank you, too, Hetty," Kensi responded, and she meant it, more than anyone would ever know.

"Kensi, I have to ask, do you think there is a chance Deeks signs the papers to become an agent?" Callen finally spoke up.

"I don't know, but I do know that I will never let him leave my life completely, and that, if one of us is _ever_ in trouble, the other will be there, by their side, in a heartbeat." She couldn't help it when her voice broke as she said that, and all three of her friends that were standing there looked at her with kindness, concern, and care in their eyes, and Kensi was thankful for the support, because it is all that kept her from completely breaking down.

"If you are ready, the way you finished the first part of your story makes me believe that you two did, in fact, hang out last night, and that it was significant," Nate said quietly, reaching out with one of his hands to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Kensi nodded, took a moment to gather her thoughts and figure out where to start, and then she jumped into the story.

For the most part, she recounted exactly what happened. She told them their original conversation, she told them what how they both admitted that they didn't want to leave the other's life completely, and she told them how they had ended up sleeping in each other's arms.

Seeing the shock and surprise on their faces, she decided to reveal slightly more to them, not just about the previous night. "Guys, I have to swear you to secrecy on an even more serious level than before. Breaking my confidence on this part will result in me _never, EVER _trusting you with anything, _ever _again."

They nodded, unsure what to expect.

"Deeks and I, before Sidarov, we hung out at least four nights a week, and I would say, 95% of the time, we at slept over, being too drunk to drive home. Most of the time we stayed over, we also fell asleep together on the couch, neither of us bothering to get up, and we would sleep in each other's arms straight through to morning. Nothing ever happened, but it was definitely not a normal partner-ly/friendly thing to do. We both knew it, but, at the time, it was enough for both of us, so we never pushed to do more. At least, that was the case, until the Sidarov case came along."

"What happened, Kensi?" Nate asked, his psychologist training kicking into action.

"Nate, please, don't analyze this, don't push me to say more, just listen," was Kensi's reaction, and it was obvious to everyone that she was very nearly begging the man to do as she said. She was obviously ashamed by what had happened.

Nate nodded, "Okay, you've got my word, Kensi."

She continued at that, "We were up on the hill, watching what was happening, when Sidarov sent Michelle with the Russian girls to have them keep an eye on her while he dealt with Sam, whom he had figured out was a federal agent. Sidarov was still suspicious of Michelle, and said something to her about whether she was playing him or not. She turned around, and kissed him. Like, really _kissed_ him, tongue and all, then said to Sidarov, 'does that feel like I'm playing you?' Deeks turned to me, and said something about not being the one to tell Sam about that, or maybe that he didn't think either of us should tell Sam. I defended Michelle, told him she was just protecting her cover. Deeks recognized the similarity between what had just happened and a recent case we had worked. The one with Monica, you know, Granger's case?" They nodded, and also knew what the similarity was, except Nate. He asked, and she filled him in on the very basics of the case, as well as what the similarity was. "Anyways, Deeks pointed that out, asking, 'kinda like when I was undercover with Monica?' Honestly, I had been unnecessarily mean to him during and after that case, because I really was bothered by hearing the two of them make out over the coms, and not being able to get away from it. I was jealous. But, I couldn't admit that to Deeks, so I made a snide comment about being undercover, or under _the _covers. He talked about the 'little green-eyed monster' showing itself again. I didn't understand it, but at lunch yesterday, Deeks did tell me what it meant, and from where he got it."

"Shakespeare." All three people in front of her knew the reference, and she couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Of course I'm the only one who doesn't get the reference." They all smile a little at that, knowing that she is only being self-deprecating because she doesn't know how else to deal with that without breaking down.

"Anyways, I started off on a rant about him never just saying what he meant, and how it was so irritating, and all that. By this time, I had turned around and sat down on my bike, so I was now facing him again. He took my challenge seriously, but, instead of actually _saying_ something he really meant, he did something. He turned my head towards him, and he kissed me, after a few seconds, he pulled back and stepped back, and asked me, _'How's that for communication?'_ Then he just stood there, waiting for my response. Instead, what he got must have felt like the entire world falling apart all around him. He had finally worked up the nerve to do what both of us had wanted to do for a long time, what we had danced around, and he meant it. What I did is, without a doubt in my mind, the most terrible thing that I could have possibly done after he kissed me..."

She isn't even trying to stop the tears from rolling down her face at this point, and the only thing keeping her standing is her car, against which she is leaning, and the fact that she has to finish her story. These people deserved to know the truth.

"I said something about needing to keep with Michelle, I put my helmet on, I started up the bike, and I drove away. I didn't acknowledge the fact that he had kissed me, I didn't acknowledge the fact that he had done exactly what I was hoping, I didn't even look at him, never mind look him in the eyes. I ran away without any sort of hesitation, and I never looked back. From what he's told me since then, and from what I've heard, he ran into the compound to save Sam and they both were taken within just a couple of minutes of that happening. The very last thing that ever happened to him before he was taken captive, tortured mercilessly, taunted, teased, and hurt in every way imaginable, is he was rejected, ignored, and treated like he was non-existent and insignificant by his partner, his best friend, and, unless he has lied to me in past 24 hours, the woman he loves. I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for that, despite the fact that he has already forgiven me...if only very recently."

She looked each of them in the eyes, holding their gaze for several seconds each, before she said anything more. In their eyes she did not see the pity or confusion she had been expecting, nor the anger, disappointment, horror, or any of the other emotions she was feeling herself.

"Now you know enough to understand everything that has happened in the past 24 hours, as well as the past several months, between Deeks and I, and I hope that you understand it when I ask you to not share it with anyone. Also, know that while there is definitely more I am not telling you, it is nothing that I can or will tell you anytime soon, and definitely not without Deeks permission first. I will tell Deeks that I told you three myself, as well as exactly how much I told you. In the meantime, please respect the fact that, for now, Deeks is simply on vacation for the next two months, and still a member of our team, and if that changes, I will let you know."

They nodded, each still wrapping their mind around everything she had shared and slowly, they began to come to terms with it, their eyes refocusing, their senses reawakening, and their mouths beginning to work again.

"Unless someone has something more to say, I suggest we each begin to re-enter the Mission at irregular intervals now." Hetty says, more of an instruction than an opening for Callen or Nate to say something. Neither really had anything to say, anyways. They were thankful for the update, and were happy that Deeks was not entirely leaving their family, although they still weren't sure what Kensi meant about Deeks status with the team. In fact, out of the four people standing by Kensi's car, only Hetty actually knew what Deeks status was.

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**I know there isn't much to go on, as far as where this story is going as of right now, but I do think you guys will begin to really see it in the next few. I just hope you give this story, and me ;P, a chance!**

**I appreciate any and all reviews! As always, don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	13. Hiding the News

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA, nor do I own any of its characters.**

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**Chapter 13 - Hiding the News**

By the time the four of the had made it back to their respective places, it had finally begun to feel like a normal day again. Until lunch rolled around, and Sam asked Kensi to come with him on a lunch run. He never did that, and she knew immediately what Sam was really trying to do. He had no idea that she had talked to anyone about what had taken place the previous day between her and Deeks, and he was hoping that getting her into a more private setting (his car) would get her to open up with him.

"No, I have too much paperwork to do. And before you go any further Sam, I know you're trying to get me to tell you what happened with my search for Deeks. It's not happening. For several reasons, really. 1. You never treated Deeks well, you didn't really respect him, and so your concern now is entirely hypocritical, and I am having trouble believing it for a second. 2. When I asked what had happened, you tried to hide yours and Callen's guilty role in Deeks quitting NCIS, which was cowardly, and it hurt me more than Callen telling me the truth ever possibly could. 3. You adhere strictly to the team-mindset, but when you and Deeks were partners, you treated him not like a teammate, but like a piece of trash, so you don't deserve to be clued into what is taking place. 4. I don't feel like talking about it."

She knew it was harsh, and not entirely deserved, but, in all honesty, it kind of _was _deserved. Sam still hadn't apologized for the way he treated Deeks, nor the things he said. Granted, he did thank Deeks for saving his and Michelle's lives and told him that he would owe Deeks for the rest of his life, but he never apologized for his own actions. And, although this was selfish of her to think, he hadn't thanked her for leaving her own partner without backup to save his wife, nor apologized to her for causing Deeks to be taken.

Sam just sat there, and slowly began to realize how big a role he had played in not just Deeks leaving NCIS the day before, but in the team slowly falling apart in the months since he and Deeks had been captured and subsequently saved. He had told Deeks he didn't deserve to be at NCIS, that he was a bad man, when, if you look at what Deeks came from and went through, and you really look and actually _see_ what Deeks does, then you know that he is the very opposite of that. He is one of the greatest men Sam has ever met, knows, and ever will meet. The side effect of him doing this was that Deeks pulled away from Kensi, because he started to believe what Sam had said, along with Sidarov's perpetual insistence that Deeks was weak, and Deeks believed that Kensi deserved the very, _very_ best man in the world taking care of her and loving her. As a result, Kensi pushed Sam away, because of what Sam had done to Deeks and her relationship with Deeks. He had pushed Callen away when Callen tried to get him to apologize to Deeks, because he was too proud to admit he was wrong, especially when he felt so weak from all the torture he himself had to go through at the hands of Sidarov. This caused Callen to lose faith and trust in everyone, because Sam, the first person he had ever really, _fully_ trusted, was acting in a way that definitely did not befit what he thought of the ex-Seal, and if he had misread Sam, then it was extremely likely that he had misread everyone. Suddenly, Sam couldn't take it. He left the Mission to get lunch, and began to formulate a plan to apologize to everyone. He just hoped that he would get the chance to apologize to the one person to whom he owed everything, because he could not stand himself until he had.

...

The next time someone brought up Kensi's search for Deeks was a couple of days later, when she was sitting in the back corner in Ops, reading Deeks file. Of course, what she had to look through was censored by Hetty, but it was still more than she had every gotten to see about Deeks past undercover assignments with LAPD.

Eric and Nell walked into the room, not even noticing her. It helped that she was wearing dark blue jeans and a black shirt, but she did not give much thought to them, either. The 'wonder twins' were talking quietly, and from what she could tell, Eric was trying to figure something out, but Nell wanted nothing to do with his snooping. He then tried to convince Nell to help him.

Kensi began reading their lips, having a good view of both of their mouths from where she was seated.

Eric was asking what Nell knew about Kensi's search for Deeks a few days ago, what Kensi had told her. Honestly, Kensi was surprised Nell hadn't shown up on her doorstep yet, demanding a 'girls' night out'. Nell told him to mind his own business, because that was what she was doing. Kensi smiled, because she knew that sooner rather than later, Nell would be demanding to know everything, but for now, was thankful for her friend's refusal to assist.

She saw Eric say 'Fine!' and then he turned around, and began to type furiously on his keyboard. Suddenly, she saw her car up on the big screen, and recognized it as traffic cam footage of her car when she was searching for Deeks. She'd had enough.

She was wearing flip-flops, which she quietly took off and picked up, along with Deeks' file, before silently sneaking up behind Eric.

"Turn that damn footage off, stop your 'Kaleidescope' search, and stop snooping into other people's personal business, Eric." She was just a couple of inches from his ear, and she whispered it so quietly that she was surprised Nell had even heard her.

Nell hadn't turned to look, but Kensi could see she was smirking out of the corner of her eye. Returning her attention to Eric, she added a little more, just to make sure he understood the exactly what she meant, "If you do not stop butting in, I will make sure you are very miserable for a very long time. I have not, am not, and will not tell you what happened, because I know you. You have had the good fortune to get an amazing job with the government to be able to have access to the coolest toys and to be able to do things that, in most cases, such as this one, should result in you getting your ass kicked. You have lost respect for some people's privacy, and I suggest you take this as a lesson to help you regain that respect. Neither Deeks nor I have broken any laws nor done anything else that could give you a reason and a right to ignore our right to privacy, and if you ever violate mine again, you will suffer. Don't think Deeks won't find out about this, either."

With that, she stood up and walked out of Ops. Just before she left, she heard Nell say to Eric, "Sorry, but I told you to let it alone."

She grimaced, knowing that, while he deserved it on some level, Eric really was a good guy, and she probably could have gotten through to him in a better way. But she hadn't been able to help it. No one at NCIS relieved her tension anymore, and she missed Deeks terribly, only three days after he left.

...

_**2 weeks later...**_

Over the comms, on the way to the site, Kensi heard Nell say, _'Kensi, tonight, you and I are having a girls' night. None of the guys, no one we know. It's going to be us, lots of alcohol, and random men we can hook up with!_

Kensi knew Nell was trying to bait her into saying something about not wanting just any guy, because she knew Nell had figured out that something had happened between her and Deeks, or, if that didn't work, her backup plan was to get Kensi drunk, and then ask her all about it, figuring drunk Kensi would spill the beans in a matter of minutes.

_'A. Now is not the time to talk about this, Nell. B. You and I both know I'm not going clubbing tonight, not after an operation like this. C. Check your phone for C' _was Kensi's reply over the comms. She didn't want to say the last part over the comms, because it really wasn't anyone else's business why Kensi was telling Nell what happened between her and Deeks.

Pulling out her phone, Kensi began typing as fast as she could writing her text to Nell. 'C. I haven't and won't tell you what happened when I went looking for Deeks because of this. You want to gossip and focus entirely on me and Deeks, because you haven't had anything happen with your own blonde surfer. Instead of focusing on my life, why don't you get off your ass and make the first move on Eric. I don't want to drink, I'm not having a girls' night, and I'm not going clubbing. What happened isn't your business just like it isn't Eric's business. The only difference between what Eric did and what you're doing is that you're trying to get me drunk so I will tell you, in which case you will be able to hold it over my head and never let it go or just let things be. Eric at least didn't want to force me talk about it, and he didn't want to force me to admit something I'm not ready to admit. He simply wanted to find out as discreetly as he could so that he could be there for either myself or Deeks if there was something he could do. Everyone else who snooped got told off in front of someone who they never wanted to look bad in front of (for example, I told Eric off in front of you). I did you the courtesy of not letting the entire team hear this, now help Eric make sure everything goes smoothly.' She hit send, and just as she put her phone back in her pocket they pulled up outside the building to which they were headed.

Jumping out of the cars, the team converge with the Special Tactics teams that were there to go over the plan for breaching one last time.

"Kensi, you and Nate, plus TacTeam2 take the back, we'll take the front with TacTeam1...let me know when you're in position." Callen said quietly as they moved towards the building from which the domestic terrorists were operating.

Kensi began to think about what they knew of this cell. _They have already claimed responsibility for bombing two Naval Recruitment Centers, shooting down a military medevac transporting a wounded soldier that had left Camp Pendleton for the Bethesda Naval Hospital on the opposite side of the country, the assassination of two one-star and one-two star Army Generals in California, and they had just last week managed to stop peace talks between several world superpowers and countries in the Middle East that was scheduled to take place in LA before they even started. These guys meant business, they were good, and they knew they were good. This was not a situation to be taken lightly, and she only wished Deeks were there to have her back, even though she knew Nate would do everything he could to make sure nothing happened to her._

About a minute later, she gave Called the signal.

"All units are a go in 3...2...1...Go!" Callen whispered, but in such a way that it had the same effect that yelling would have had.

Doors were busted down, everyone was yelling, and she heard ever, guns were being fired everywhere, and then...then everything went black.

* * *

**I hope this chapter caught everyone's attention, as it took me a while to finally get it to the point that I was pleased with everything, and it may be my favorite chapter so far, especially as far as work centered stuff goes. I do have a question for everyone though:**

Should Kensi ripping into everyone who snooped drive them away from her,  
or should they simple apologize and move on,  
or maybe something else entirely?!

**I am dying to hear you thoughts, and look forward to reading any and all reviews! Remember, don't be gentle, be genuine!**


	14. UPDATE: STORY PUT ON THE SHELF

**I am at an impasse at this very moment with this story. Looking back, I realize I have set this entire story up very poorly (probably because I didn't set it up at all), and I do not like where it is going. Therefore, I am telling everyone that this story, at least until I have become a more experienced writer and perhaps find a way to save it, will no longer be updated for the foreseeable future. I will immediately begin working on a new story, one that I spend more time planning out in the beginning, one that I write, then edit, more attentively, and one that, hopefully, will catch everyone's attention much more suddenly!**

**I thank you for the support you have shown, and I hope my next story turns out much, much better than this one!**

**(I am actually thinking about using some of what I have written for the beginning of this story in the next one, but I will edit it, fix it up, improve it, and make it a better read, first! I will also take what I use somewhere better!)**

**Neverssaynevers**


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